Two weeks after 29, I realize I am still learning new things every single day. Between the ups and downs, you learn to be quiet when trouble arise and speak up when life throws you a chance. Especially, when stuff is not going as plan. We have been in a pandemic for more than 8 months. We are not sure what the future holds but we can only hope for change and understanding.

Everything around us is changing at a fast pace and moving at an even faster pace. People are losing their lives. Children are being bounce around from home to school and back. Life is an ever evolving door. We face each day as a new challenge and a even bigger test. I on the other hand has been put in the biggest test. The potential of the outcome of 2020 being filled with extreme anxiety and uncertainty. I realize to curb your anxiety you need to first figure out what is triggering it.

Over the last couple of months I have realize my anxiety has taking a front seat in my life. I wasn’t sure what was causing it and why it was causing me to feel defeated. Every single time something uncertain happens I feel this sensation in my chest and my heart starts beating at an unstoppable pace. This is when I knew something other than nerves was taking over my life. At the age of 29, anxiety was making it self known to me. I also figured out that when I write in my journal about my feelings it tends to take the edge off of my breathing and my heart’s pace slows.

Also listening to Christmas music has help as well. I sleep with Christmas music playing to keep my mind at ease. Yes, all year round. I pray, some might not believe in that. It has helped me. I watch different pastors, who I can relate to. I find that the uncertainty causes a lot of anxiety because I can’t put my finger on what I should do next. It has been a year of uncertainty. We as a nation still have more to find out and hopefully we can find a way to heal. My hope is that in the end, we as a nation can grow, learn and stand on our principles. We know what it is like to fight but do we know what it is like to heal. I say let us find healing because fighting is starting to get old and used. We broke down mountains so we can build hills. Let those hills flourish and we find our peace in knowing that we can fight but find healing at the end.

Until next time, Find healing and grow those hills. 🙂