When You Stop Worrying Things Change!

Have you ever heard of the saying “the more you worry the more you stress”?

Well it’s true for the past few months I’ve been doing more worrying and less relaxing. Sometimes those things that you worry about don’t need to be worried about. Those stressful situations that make you feel like nothing is changing you just keep reliving it over and over again. Here’s some advice, stop worrying, to be honest it already a part of a plan that will work out in the end. Easier said than done right! No,it not you just need to relax and go to your happy place. ūüôāWatch how things change.

I had to make a choice if I wanted to keep stressing about what wasn’t happening or be thankful for what was happening. I thought I had to have everything figured out by the time the New Year had hit, which was causing me even more stressssss.

Nothing says Happy New Year without a plan.

I started 2017 with a bang and ended 2017 with sadness. With the loss of my aunt I was just going through the motions of wanting to be able to do something. So then I realize I was over killing my self with wanting to do this no, I want to do that. I couldn’t make up my mind. So now I have to much going on.ūüėě just over doing it for no reason.

I couldn’t keep up. I partially think I was grieving and I just wanted to get it out my mind that she was gone. To the point of wanting to just be doing something. Until I had no choice but to stop and pay attention to what was going on. At that point I sat down and just need to have pep talk with myself. I had to listen to my inner voice and give way to what was now taking over my life. Release the baggage that was holding me in this dark place. Between the grieving, the process of searching for a job I was going through it.

At that moment , I just decided that I was not going to continue on a path that was I was on. I knew it leading me to my downfall. This is when you know you need to worry less and relax more.

The morale of the story is once you figure out that worrying is not getting you anywhere and is not changing anything.it time for a new plan. Go to your happy place and figure out a better plan, unfold the plan, then live your best life with no stress.

Here’s the effects of worrying and stress:

1. You look older than you are. Stress puts years on your life.

2. You take on other people’s problems. When people tell you their problems since you have nothing to do with yours, unfortunately we go into a fix it mood and try and fit all their problems. You can’t fix other people problems.

3. Your brain is not working the way it should because you are overwhelmed with life.

4. Stress leads to depression. No explanation needed. Your in a darker place and the next thing to come with darkness is sadness.

5. Stress lead to weight gain. You start eating more because things in your life is not going well.

Just to name a few…..

worry less and enjoy life more!!!!!!!See how things will change.

Happy New Year!

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We are now in 2018, here’s to being successful the best way we know how.

Let Celebrate what we left and what we gained.

I’m thankful that we got through another year and thankful that even though¬†it was tough we can say we made it.

I say 2018 I’m ready for whatever you have in store.

Happy New Year,

Cynethia.

You Can Never Be Too Thankful

As we inch closer to Thanksgiving and as my 26th birthday(November 1st) just past. I feel even more thankful for everything I have. I’m learning the true¬†meaning of being thankful for what you have and what you don’t.

There is nothing more profound than understanding the true meaning of family, happiness, growth, and love.

Let’s talk about family:

My family is my world. We may go through our differences but one thing still remains the same is we will always be FAMILY.

Sometimes that hardest job I have is trying to make sure everyone is ok. I am so focused on making sure no one wants for anything that I forget to think about Cynethia.

This is where your family comes in and reminds me of what’s important.

No family does not have to be blood to bring you back to reality.

Now let’s talk about happiness:

As I inch closer to 30, the only thing that I focus on now is my happiness. If it does not bring me happiness, I move away from it.¬† I don’t focus on it.

In fact, it doesn’t even catch my attention.¬† I just don’t see it. This is what keeps my happiness at a balance and understanding that life is too short to focus on things that don’t bring joy and happiness.

How has my growth changed my life?:

My growth has been on top since knowing that I’m changing certain things in my life. Growth and happiness to me go hand and hand. If I’m not happy, how can I grow from the experience?

The growth of understanding that life waits for no one. Is becoming more and more a single statement in my life. It’s a staple of knowing that I am changing for the better. This is also a way of me showing myself how much of an adult I’m becoming.

Who says adult life is not worth trying. No doubt it’s not easy but anything worth having is worth working hard for.

A little hard work doesn’t kill anyone.

Last but not least Love:

Have you ever love something or someone so much that all you ever want to see is it flourish to unprecedented heights. 

I for one love to see people excel to some of the most amazing people they can be. I guess this comes with growth.

I don’t like the idea of not wishing others well.¬† I love to see people around me be as successful as they see themselves and if I¬†can help in any way. I chose to be right by their side in any shape or form.¬†

I’ve grown a custom to loving other through their joy, sorrow, and pain. Nothing makes me love life more than putting my best effort forward and helping others through their most trying times.

Love does not have to be a romantic relationship. It can be unbelieve friendship, business (You can love a business) or just plain ole love. 

I want you to write down on a piece of paper or your laptop(whatever method you prefer):,

What your family means to you?

What brings you happiness?

what helps you grow?

How love changed your life?

And then reflect on what your you are thankful for. 

Knowing When to gracefully bow out.

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How do you know when to bow out of something?

I’ll tell you when,¬†

It’s time to bow out when you feel like it’s not helping you grow or is giving you an understanding of what it has to offer.

The past few days I’ve been pretty busy with trying to figure out what I should keep focusing on and what I should bow out gracefully too.¬†

It wasn’t until yesterday¬†when I realize that I had to bow out on something that was not giving me a foresight on what could help me grow. It wasn’t an easy decision but it was the best decision I made.

After thinking long and hard about it, as well as getting some motherly advice from my mother, I came to the decision that it was only right to bow out. 

This adult life does not come with a manual on how to navigate the everyday life. But it sure does appear with loads of stress trying to figure it out. They do say when it rains it pours so past few days it’s been pouring down on me.¬†

So as a young 25-year-old woman, I’m figuring out ways to handle this testing period.¬† Boy, when I tell you this testing period is putting a strain¬†on me it really is.¬†

I try to keep my mind in the right space and pray as much as possible. (That’s just my way of dealing with life struggles.) And focus on the bright light that will open my mind to new hills.

Every testing period does bring a new lesson that’s what I keep¬†telling myself and so far its been working.¬†

Now brings me back to the topic:

If you are anything like me than you will have the most trouble figuring out what to keep focusing on and what to let go without feeling like you are disappointing others.

But in the end, I’ve always disappointed myself the most. So in the conversation, I had with my¬†mother a few days ago.¬† We talked about how I should always weigh both sides so that one side is not tipping the scale more than the other.

Now, I did ask how to do that because for a minute I didn’t understand what she meant. She explained to me in life we all have to make tuff decisions and sometimes those come with harsh realities. “Now I know what you mean,” I said to her.¬†

I had a better understanding that the decision I made was for the better who I was destined to be in my future. 

I say all that to say we all need to learn when it best to bow out gracefully. 

I will say I’m at peace with my decision!

 

 

 

 

STOP Searching For Confirmation From Others.

First, let me start by saying you don’t need me to tell you that you are doing just fine. This thing called life can leave you feeling like you need confirmation from the people around you. I’m going to let you in on a little secret, you don’t. ūüôā

So let us kill that myth right now. You only need you drive and determination to make it all come to fruition. Just keep doing amazing friend.

You don’t need no one to confirm anything you do. Learn to stand on your own and you will do amazing things. I’m not saying you’re not going to need anyone in your life. You just don’t need confirmation for everything you do.

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There is such thing as needing people too much. And as a person who learned the hard way. People do get tired of you asking them for favors and always asking them what they think. If they are busy trying to figure out their own solutions, you are adding more pressure that doesn’t need to be there.

Allow yourself the Chance to figure out what works for your path. Because your path is different than everyone around you. Your journey is not your mother’s, Father’s, or friends it’s your own. No one can confirm what feels right to you. But you.

Stop worrying yourself to death over what is not working and start finding solutions. There is always a solution to a problem that may seem so big. You just need to find it.

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Confirm your own success. We as the human race feel like we need confirmation because that’s what society wants us to think. I’ve never been one for societies confirmation. I’ve always confirmed my own success. I don’t like the idea of having someone confirm something I already knew was right for me. You can have an opinion great, but you won’t change my mind on what I already know is part of my path.

Yes, it took me some time to get to a point where no one opinions mattered because with anything in life you have to learn how perfected the ability to stand against the naysayers and the people who think they know everything. Humph…………

When in reality they are learning just like you. No one person knows everything. So don’t feel bad if you haven’t mastered the art of ignoring people, who life is no different than yours but have a full opinion about yours. Just laugh and keep it moving you don’t need their confirmation.

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Because you can confirm it for yourself. Look in the mirror and say, I will be successful because I know that is apart of my path. Trust and believe those naysayers will look at you like you got it all together. Then that’s when the rumors will start. But that’s another topic. ūüôā

I’ll leave you with this, Learn to be your own confirmation. At the end of the day when everyone leaves you will still have you. Confirm what you know is on your path. I’m am sure you’ve had some signs, dreams, hints. You get the point. You just need to find YOUR Solution. ūüôā

Nothing can stand in your way!

Have you ever heard of the saying “Nothing can stand in your way but you?” I remember as a kid my mother informing me that no one can stand in my way. Whatever I wanted to do I could do. I’m saying the same to you no one can stand in your way. You can do whatever it is that your heart is set on. You can conquer whatever it is that you feel like is holding you down. you can finish that class, that paper, business plan, you can work all those hours so you can open that first store/shop, you’re going to find that job that’s for you. You can do it!!!!

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In the world today, there are so many things that can turn your hope into a puff of smoke. I’m here to encourage you not to allow that to happen because you never know what that hope will get you. Stop allowing yourself to get in your own way. You are built for this journey. This journey has your name written in stone. I know that there are people around you who have everything you want but it was just their time. Your time is coming. No one can take your time.

Get out of your own WAY

I use to feel the same way, seeing everyone around me have everything and you start to feel a little jealous of what everyone has because you’re working your ass off. Then I realize when my time comes I will have what’s meant for me and not what meant for everyone else. I stopped worrying about what other’s had and I started paying attention to where I was going. I started to see what I wanted for myself and it wasn’t what other people had. I have a vision and I plan to continue on the path to get it. I recommend you stop telling people your vision because everyone is not going to understand what you see for you.

No can see what you see for yourself

When I started RedefinedLove I didn’t tell anyone about it until it was actually launched. Yes, I know it will take some time to get this site where it needs to be but I plan to work on it as long as it takes. I know this is what I’m supposed to be doing. In my mind and heart, I knew I need to start helping others by taking that first step. This is that first step for me. I have a plan in mind that wrote down on paper to map out what I want to do with this site and how I want to do it. The goal is to make sure I stay on or close to that course. You never know you might change a few lines and it might make the play better. Every businessman/woman I read about had to change a few lines to be successful. So I know if they changed a few things I know I’m going to change a few lines here and there.

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My point is you can do just about anything with the passion of taking that first step. You can take that first step!!!! Let me tell you it will be scary and you will feel like your heart is jumping out of your chest but when it’s all said done you will feel a sense of relief. I couldn’t be happier that I took that first step with this site. I’m now standing in my purpose and I never felt better. Also, stop getting your head and shooting down all positive thoughts. Instead, write them down on paper and see what you come up with. We as a human being has always stopped our feet from moving when the water got a little too deep and we felt like we are drowning. Yes, we do that a lot. I encourage you to go a little further in water because what’s at the end will surprise you. I was definitely surprised at the responses I’m getting with this blog so far and couldn’t be more grateful that I took that step.

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Take that step I promise you won’t regret it!!!!! ūüôā

 

Growth Comes With Hope!!!!!

Have you ever just thought about how far you have come? or Have you ever just sat in a chair, looked around a room and said to yourself “WOW, if someone would have asked me five years ago would I be where I am today, I would have probably looked at them crazy “. Whether you go to an office or you are taking¬†that first step into a passion of¬†yours.¬† ¬†There is something to be said about growth. When you are able to see the growth, you begin to feel hope. This is called Growth comes with hope. I learned a long time ago that you need some form of hope to be able to grow as an¬†individual.¬† Nothing can be worse than losing hope on something you desperately want and you fail at because you lose hope in it.¬†

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When I first started college, I was so nervous that I was walking with less hope because it was something new. “I have never been here before” I kept telling myself. I wasn’t hopeful and I was extremely timid about walking into this new surrounds. All my life, I had my mother to push me now I had to push myself. When I say it was the scariest thing in the world. It was literally the scariest thing in the world. Walking into this big building with no friends or my protective shelter, it was just little¬†ole me. I’m going to give you a glimpse into my first semester. My first class was an African Studies class and I¬†had to give a speech at the end of the semester that meant standing up in front of my fellow classmate and talking for about 20 minutes.¬† ¬†When I say I wanted to pass out, literally¬†wanted to fall on the floor. My heart was beating in my ears, my hands were shaking, my voice cracked. Random thoughts running through my head. I was losing hope about this college thing fast.

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What made me gain hope again was due to the fact,¬† I was prepared before everyone else. I think¬†we got the e-mail two nights before the presentations were set to take place and I¬†started as soon as I got the e-mail and was done the next day.¬† I was not worried about doing the work. I was worried about talking in front of my classmates. These are people I’ve never met before and I had never given a speech in my life. So when it came time to give the speech I allowed my nervousness to get the best of me. So here’s how I got my confidence back, I close my eyes, gave myself a pep talk and proceeded to give my speech with my shaking hands. I was the first one which I learned in future classes that normally the first one sets the bar for every person that comes after them.¬† I also got my 5 extra points and by the end of the semester, I completed that class with an A.¬†

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When I saw that A, I had never wanted to kiss a grade so badly. Lol. I was so sure I did terribly,¬† it did take me a moment to get those words flowing. I was so sure he was going to take points off. Here’s where the growth part of my story comes in. After I conquered the African Studies class I was determined to not let my nervousness get the best of me again.¬† I found out that I had to take a speech class as an elective, As a way to prepare myself,¬† I signed up for it my second semester. I grew skills to prepare for anything.¬† For every semester after that, I pick up new skills to help me complete college within a two-year period.¬† This is why I say growth comes with hope. If I had not done that speech and stood in front of my fellow classmates,¬† I would probably have let my hope dwindle little more each day. Out of all the things I’ve done I have to say college has taught me the most. You have to be willing to take that first step and allow yourself to believe you can do anything.¬†

Hope = Growth. 

DON’T LOSE HOPE YOU HAVE THE STRENGTH TO KEEP PUSHING ON.

Tell me a time when you felt hopeful and tell me how has it helped you grow? 

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When does stress make you sit down?

What is stress? Stress is the importance, significance, emphasis placed on something. Here is my story on how I stressed my self out throughout my school years. I was one of those students that would stay up for hours to complete assignments that would have probably taken a genius a couple of minutes to complete. ¬†I on the hand was trying to make sure I did the assignment to perfection. I had to learn the hard that stressing myself to point of staying up all night and getting up the next day was not the best thing for a student trying to excel in one of hardest fields. Computers are a subject that needs your full attention when the professor or teacher is speaking because a slight mistake could cost you some vital¬†information and cause a very expensive problem. ¬†Just like with doctors and nurses they have to fully pay attention to what’s in a patients chart. You can’t give a patient who has sugar food with sugar in it because that could be a deadly mistake. With electronics, it’s no different. So I say all this to say when you are physically tired don’t be like me and stay up all night knowing that you need to focus the next morning. Go TO BED!!!¬†Tell me a time that you was stress?¬†

 

Stress free zone

 

 

Encouragement

When I think of encouragement, I think of confidence in one’s ability to complete a task that has been giving to them. Throughout my high school years, my dear mother was that encouragement. As well as many others that came into my life in that short period of time. My high school years was a little crazy but I still had the encouragement of the people who wanted to see me excel. For the remainder of my high school years, I was homeschooled with two teachers and a tutor that became what I considered to be my encouragement team. These were the people that knew me when everything was falling apart before going off to college and completing what many people thought I could not do. So when I say encouragement is something that will keep you moving in the right direction it will. I’m living proof of what having the right people in your corner can do for you. Yes, it will take some effort on your part but I’m pretty sure you can work up the strength to go the extra mile. Who are your encouragement team members?
You_re Brave & Brilliant and Oh-So Resilient