When do you say “I am enough”?

My 2019 has started off with some awesome days. As I type this I came to realization that I am enough. No one can tell me how to live my life, what to expect from my life, what I should focus on in my life. I am living my life for me. In 2019, I will not be afraid to take a risk.


When I came to this Epiphany, I was telling this guy, I liked him. I did say in 2019 I was going to go after everything I wanted no matter how scary it may be, I was going after it. So being the Scorpio ♏️ I am. I was like why not let him know you like him. So I did.


Well let just say after I did , the nerves set in and now my head/heart won’t (I did say I wasn’t going to use this word either.)stop thinking what have you done🤦🏾‍♀️. I remember I said I was not going to allow me to stand in my way. I meant what I said. This is when the words “I am enough” set in. I was getting ready to text him to forget it but then I was like girl get over yourself. You said your peace, let it go and move on.


So that’s what I did. We had a conversation and he expressed a different feeling because let’s just face it, I’m a lot to handle. Being a strong willed woman and a focus one at that can be a lot for one man to handle. Let me clarify, a lot for the wrong man to handle. One thing I do know, is how to be a woman who is supportive of a man she seeks and show him the affection he needs. Especially when it’s needed. So when he said he didn’t feel the same, I was disappointed at first but I quickly understood.


So when he ask to be friends, I was like cool. As I type this I’m moving past my feelings for him because he said he wanted to be friends but I’m seeing things differently. No, he doesn’t want a relationship but does he really want a friendship? Here’s where I learn to read the signs of what happening inside my circle that is ever so small. With my friends I communicate with them mostly every now and again. I check on them, I ask them what’s happening in their lives. You know the usual. I’m checking but he’s not. 🤷🏾‍♀️


Also, I remember I said if it doesn’t serve a purpose, I’m letting it go. It will be removed from my life. I meant that as well. What I don’t want to do is not be a supportive friend but I also like to be supported. I’ve dealt with the friends where the relationship was one-sided and I vowed to eliminate those kinds of relationships. I plan to keep that tradition in 2019. Right now I’m not seeing the purpose this person serves in my life. He’s just holding up space that could be use for someone who may need me to be a ear, shoulder or place to be true friend. I can’t be a true friend if this person won’t allow me in.


Though I know this may be hard for this person because My intuition says that he’s trying to figure me out as much as I’m trying figure him out. We may need to just part ways. If it’s meant to be we may meet again in the future. Then, just maybe we both will have some clarity on what we both want or he may meet his forever or I will meet mine. Either way we just can’t keeping going down a road that is not clear. It’s not a positive thing. It’s a hindering thing. What I will not allow is for something to hinder me in place that’s I can’t see the potential in its future. So today, I will be having a conversation with this person. If we can’t come to some sort of understanding/clarity then it time to remove it from my life.


When you feel like you are not enough. I want you to say to yourself, “I am enough.” Cancel those negative thoughts and focus on what you know and what you can do. Don’t focus on the what will happen if I say this or do this. Focus on the what will happen, if I spoke it into existence or what will happen if I took that step and followed through. Nine times out ten you will feel relieved and at peace. Take that step, it ok to be anxious but don’t block yourself from freedom.

Until next time,

Cynethia🙂

Knowing When to gracefully bow out.

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How do you know when to bow out of something?

I’ll tell you when, 

It’s time to bow out when you feel like it’s not helping you grow or is giving you an understanding of what it has to offer.

The past few days I’ve been pretty busy with trying to figure out what I should keep focusing on and what I should bow out gracefully too. 

It wasn’t until yesterday when I realize that I had to bow out on something that was not giving me a foresight on what could help me grow. It wasn’t an easy decision but it was the best decision I made.

After thinking long and hard about it, as well as getting some motherly advice from my mother, I came to the decision that it was only right to bow out. 

This adult life does not come with a manual on how to navigate the everyday life. But it sure does appear with loads of stress trying to figure it out. They do say when it rains it pours so past few days it’s been pouring down on me. 

So as a young 25-year-old woman, I’m figuring out ways to handle this testing period.  Boy, when I tell you this testing period is putting a strain on me it really is. 

I try to keep my mind in the right space and pray as much as possible. (That’s just my way of dealing with life struggles.) And focus on the bright light that will open my mind to new hills.

Every testing period does bring a new lesson that’s what I keep telling myself and so far its been working. 

Now brings me back to the topic:

If you are anything like me than you will have the most trouble figuring out what to keep focusing on and what to let go without feeling like you are disappointing others.

But in the end, I’ve always disappointed myself the most. So in the conversation, I had with my mother a few days ago.  We talked about how I should always weigh both sides so that one side is not tipping the scale more than the other.

Now, I did ask how to do that because for a minute I didn’t understand what she meant. She explained to me in life we all have to make tuff decisions and sometimes those come with harsh realities. “Now I know what you mean,” I said to her. 

I had a better understanding that the decision I made was for the better who I was destined to be in my future. 

I say all that to say we all need to learn when it best to bow out gracefully. 

I will say I’m at peace with my decision!

 

 

 

 

When does stress make you sit down?

What is stress? Stress is the importance, significance, emphasis placed on something. Here is my story on how I stressed my self out throughout my school years. I was one of those students that would stay up for hours to complete assignments that would have probably taken a genius a couple of minutes to complete.  I on the hand was trying to make sure I did the assignment to perfection. I had to learn the hard that stressing myself to point of staying up all night and getting up the next day was not the best thing for a student trying to excel in one of hardest fields. Computers are a subject that needs your full attention when the professor or teacher is speaking because a slight mistake could cost you some vital information and cause a very expensive problem.  Just like with doctors and nurses they have to fully pay attention to what’s in a patients chart. You can’t give a patient who has sugar food with sugar in it because that could be a deadly mistake. With electronics, it’s no different. So I say all this to say when you are physically tired don’t be like me and stay up all night knowing that you need to focus the next morning. Go TO BED!!! Tell me a time that you was stress? 

 

Stress free zone

 

 

Encouragement

When I think of encouragement, I think of confidence in one’s ability to complete a task that has been giving to them. Throughout my high school years, my dear mother was that encouragement. As well as many others that came into my life in that short period of time. My high school years was a little crazy but I still had the encouragement of the people who wanted to see me excel. For the remainder of my high school years, I was homeschooled with two teachers and a tutor that became what I considered to be my encouragement team. These were the people that knew me when everything was falling apart before going off to college and completing what many people thought I could not do. So when I say encouragement is something that will keep you moving in the right direction it will. I’m living proof of what having the right people in your corner can do for you. Yes, it will take some effort on your part but I’m pretty sure you can work up the strength to go the extra mile. Who are your encouragement team members?
You_re Brave & Brilliant and Oh-So Resilient

What is Undefined Love?

Undefined Love is something we all have within us as a human race. It doesn’t matter if you are a daughter, son, husband, wife, mother, father, grandmother, grandfather we all have undefined love. I started this site thinking about my mother’s love for me. Along my high school years, my mother had to fight to help me attained a high school diploma. Many people who were apart of my inner circle did not know what I went through as a high school student who was denied the right to receive my high school education. With my mother’s undefined love I was able to do that and more. My hope for this site is that it gives others the courage that my mother gave me when I felt like I didn’t have anything left to give.

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