I know it been a while since I posted here on Redefined Love!!!!!
Let’s have a chat!
What’s been going on the last three months you asked.
Well I’ve been at my new job for about month and two weeks. We have a break coming up, then I can go into a little more detail about what I do for a living. Not to much but give you a reason as to why I’ve been M.I.A.
I personally wanted to say thank you for sticking with me through me adjusting to being a working girl and going from college to the real world struggles. 🙂
Welcome to all the new followers who continue to follow my blog.
You are appreciated!!!!
We will chat soon!!!
Remember when you were little and you would play dress up or you would pretend to be some superhero that would come on your favorite TV shows? I want you to go back to that point in time and dream like you never dreamed before. I want you to feel as comfortable as you did when that dream took place. I don’t expect you to have the same goals but I do expect you to tap into that past aspiration. As we get older we forget to dream and continue to run away from those dreams because we feel like they have nothing to do with our reality. I’m here to tell you that those dreams have a lot to do with our reality.
Let me inform you that your dreams are what got you this far. When your parents dreamed about what they wanted to do in their future you were part of that future plan. This is why you exist. Let me ask you another question do you feel like your dreams are unrealistic. Well, let me tell you if it has something to do with your future plans then those dreams are not unrealistic. Do you think Steve Jobs saw how big Apple would be? Do you think Bill Gates would have thought he would have been sitting a the top of the Forbes list for as many years? No, these people had a dream and they worked so hard to accomplish them every single day. I want you to do the same. I don’t want you to stop putting one foot in front of the other until you feel like you have nothing to lose because you gained everything from dreaming. I like to see others win because when they win I look at it like you made it and now you showing someone else who may be watching that they can do anything if they just keep dreaming.
I promise you someone is watching your every move especially if you have little family members that look up to you. Having little eyes on you can make you feel the sense to keep moving. They don’t have to be your children, They could be cousins, god-children, a family-friend child/ren, even adults pay attention to what you are doing. Just to see if you have a plan and a dream. I don’t want you to stop dreaming because some amazing things happen in our dreams. Have you ever had a dream just come true right in front of your eyes? What did you think? The first thing we utter is “Oh My God I dreamed about this”. I can name a few people who probably had a look into their future because that what our dreams show us. A look into our future.
In my last article, I spoke about a dream I had of words that kept replaying in my head and I couldn’t understand why. I didn’t realize that was my dream telling me to express those words in an article that might be something someone needs to hear or read. So when I wrote those words in my notebook I didn’t realize it would bring me healing to express them to all the people who read that article. I felt a sense of relief when I posted that article because I knew my dream had been fulfilled.
Your dreams show you endless possibilities of what your life could be like. I know as women we dream constantly and we come up with endless possibilities as to what we want our lives to be like. It’s not pressuring it’s a reassurance that you have something to look forward to. KEEP YOUR DREAMS Alive!! I want you to take a look at how far you have come and then tell me it wasn’t a dream. In the famous words of BIggie Small it was all a dream………….
Have you ever heard of the saying “Nothing can stand in your way but you?” I remember as a kid my mother informing me that no one can stand in my way. Whatever I wanted to do I could do. I’m saying the same to you no one can stand in your way. You can do whatever it is that your heart is set on. You can conquer whatever it is that you feel like is holding you down. you can finish that class, that paper, business plan, you can work all those hours so you can open that first store/shop, you’re going to find that job that’s for you. You can do it!!!!
In the world today, there are so many things that can turn your hope into a puff of smoke. I’m here to encourage you not to allow that to happen because you never know what that hope will get you. Stop allowing yourself to get in your own way. You are built for this journey. This journey has your name written in stone. I know that there are people around you who have everything you want but it was just their time. Your time is coming. No one can take your time.
I use to feel the same way, seeing everyone around me have everything and you start to feel a little jealous of what everyone has because you’re working your ass off. Then I realize when my time comes I will have what’s meant for me and not what meant for everyone else. I stopped worrying about what other’s had and I started paying attention to where I was going. I started to see what I wanted for myself and it wasn’t what other people had. I have a vision and I plan to continue on the path to get it. I recommend you stop telling people your vision because everyone is not going to understand what you see for you.
When I started RedefinedLove I didn’t tell anyone about it until it was actually launched. Yes, I know it will take some time to get this site where it needs to be but I plan to work on it as long as it takes. I know this is what I’m supposed to be doing. In my mind and heart, I knew I need to start helping others by taking that first step. This is that first step for me. I have a plan in mind that wrote down on paper to map out what I want to do with this site and how I want to do it. The goal is to make sure I stay on or close to that course. You never know you might change a few lines and it might make the play better. Every businessman/woman I read about had to change a few lines to be successful. So I know if they changed a few things I know I’m going to change a few lines here and there.
My point is you can do just about anything with the passion of taking that first step. You can take that first step!!!! Let me tell you it will be scary and you will feel like your heart is jumping out of your chest but when it’s all said done you will feel a sense of relief. I couldn’t be happier that I took that first step with this site. I’m now standing in my purpose and I never felt better. Also, stop getting your head and shooting down all positive thoughts. Instead, write them down on paper and see what you come up with. We as a human being has always stopped our feet from moving when the water got a little too deep and we felt like we are drowning. Yes, we do that a lot. I encourage you to go a little further in water because what’s at the end will surprise you. I was definitely surprised at the responses I’m getting with this blog so far and couldn’t be more grateful that I took that step.
Take that step I promise you won’t regret it!!!!! 🙂
With everything that’s been going on in the media and the world. From earthquakes to hurricanes. We need something to lift us up. Whenever you feel down, I want you to think of the many ways you’ve helped others. Has it been with just spending time, or has it been with giving advice? My favorite is just by being their listening ear so that person can just release the stress. Nothing makes me happier than to help a friend who may not feel comfortable talking to others but feel comfortable talking to me. I love for my friends to feel like they can come to me with anything. I’m just that kinda person. I rather see what I can do, rather do nothing at all.
One goal I do every day is to find a positive quote, read it and start my day. This how I get my day started and I feel because I read my quote there is nothing that can stand in my way. I learned one positive thought a day can:
- Change a mood
- Change an outlook
- Give you inner peace
- Give you grace and faith whatever you may believe in.
- Give you a spiritual guidance and the list goes on.
Whatever it may take to get those positive thoughts going that may help you help others I’m all for it. One thing I dislike is when I come into an establishment and there is a person in a bad mood. Warrant you don’t know what going on the inside but you just know something is just not right. In my heart, I’m a fixer I like to see what I can do but you can’t just walk up to a complete stranger and just ask them what’s the matter? So I do subliminally, I’ll sit next to them and strike up a conversation or sometimes they’ll surprise me and start a conversation with me. So by the time, we leave the establishment everyone is in a better mood. This also how you de-escalate a situation before things go wrong. By them being in a better mood before leaving, that particular person may extend that generosity to someone else. To me, this a form of uplifting others. You’ve help one now they’ll help another. It’s also called spread kindness.
Many times we find that we are afraid of asking for help or helping others because we think they might want something in return. Yes, some do because they feel like oh I gave you this so you have to do this.Those people are not uplifting others. They are just there to use you and it’s better to find that out now and cut them off. Then to find out later when it’s too late. I truly believe there are more people who do it out of the kindness of their heart, rather than to see what they can get in return. The people who do it out of the kindness of their heart will generally walk away and not ask for anything in return even when you offer it. They’ll say no that’s alright or they’ll say thank you and go on about their day. You’ll realize that people with alternate motives will constantly ask you for things. Always come around when they need something. It’s never an equal trade it will always be something they need. Learn the signs so you can get the negative energy out of your life or keep it at bay so it’s not affecting your everyday life. You do need a balance so you can have a clear understanding of what uplifting others look like. I’m just saying don’t let the negative tip the scale. Here is how the negative will tip the scale:
- Phone calls come few and far between and it’s only to ask for something.
- The person will only show interest into you when it benefits them.
- They don’t show support.
- They don’t like it when you say no.
- They stop calling when they feel you have nothing to offer.
These things are not uplifting, they are hindering. Stop allowing others to hinder you. I had to learn to stop allowing other people make me feel bad for not want to do something or just simply saying no. Who would have thought saying a small word like no would put so many people in their feelings. This also comes with the price of being the yes woman/man. They do say every action has a reaction which I later figured out to be true. I would much rather put people in their feelings so my life can be a little more positive. Then to be miserable because I keep doing things that I don’t want to. It’s a risk I’m willing to take.
What is the risk you are willing to take to have a more filling life? Are you willing to let a certain crowd go? are you willing to learn to allow yourself to be more positive? What are you willing to do? I challenge you to find a way to uplift the people around you and that includes you. Trust me it feels so good to uplift others as much as it feels good to be uplifted.
Have you ever just thought about how far you have come? or Have you ever just sat in a chair, looked around a room and said to yourself “WOW, if someone would have asked me five years ago would I be where I am today, I would have probably looked at them crazy “. Whether you go to an office or you are taking that first step into a passion of yours. There is something to be said about growth. When you are able to see the growth, you begin to feel hope. This is called Growth comes with hope. I learned a long time ago that you need some form of hope to be able to grow as an individual. Nothing can be worse than losing hope on something you desperately want and you fail at because you lose hope in it.
When I first started college, I was so nervous that I was walking with less hope because it was something new. “I have never been here before” I kept telling myself. I wasn’t hopeful and I was extremely timid about walking into this new surrounds. All my life, I had my mother to push me now I had to push myself. When I say it was the scariest thing in the world. It was literally the scariest thing in the world. Walking into this big building with no friends or my protective shelter, it was just little ole me. I’m going to give you a glimpse into my first semester. My first class was an African Studies class and I had to give a speech at the end of the semester that meant standing up in front of my fellow classmate and talking for about 20 minutes. When I say I wanted to pass out, literally wanted to fall on the floor. My heart was beating in my ears, my hands were shaking, my voice cracked. Random thoughts running through my head. I was losing hope about this college thing fast.
What made me gain hope again was due to the fact, I was prepared before everyone else. I think we got the e-mail two nights before the presentations were set to take place and I started as soon as I got the e-mail and was done the next day. I was not worried about doing the work. I was worried about talking in front of my classmates. These are people I’ve never met before and I had never given a speech in my life. So when it came time to give the speech I allowed my nervousness to get the best of me. So here’s how I got my confidence back, I close my eyes, gave myself a pep talk and proceeded to give my speech with my shaking hands. I was the first one which I learned in future classes that normally the first one sets the bar for every person that comes after them. I also got my 5 extra points and by the end of the semester, I completed that class with an A.
When I saw that A, I had never wanted to kiss a grade so badly. Lol. I was so sure I did terribly, it did take me a moment to get those words flowing. I was so sure he was going to take points off. Here’s where the growth part of my story comes in. After I conquered the African Studies class I was determined to not let my nervousness get the best of me again. I found out that I had to take a speech class as an elective, As a way to prepare myself, I signed up for it my second semester. I grew skills to prepare for anything. For every semester after that, I pick up new skills to help me complete college within a two-year period. This is why I say growth comes with hope. If I had not done that speech and stood in front of my fellow classmates, I would probably have let my hope dwindle little more each day. Out of all the things I’ve done I have to say college has taught me the most. You have to be willing to take that first step and allow yourself to believe you can do anything.
Hope = Growth.
DON’T LOSE HOPE YOU HAVE THE STRENGTH TO KEEP PUSHING ON.
Tell me a time when you felt hopeful and tell me how has it helped you grow?
As we approach October, I’m thinking about all the memories that will be made this year. When I think about Halloween, I personally love to see children getting dressed up with their pumpkin baskets and saying trick or treat. Watching the different Halloween movies that are televised on ABC Family which is now Freeform and Disney Channel. One of my favorite Halloween movies is It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown. It’s become a tradition to watch it every year when it comes on ABC. These were some of my favorite memories growing up. I remember as a little girl, My mother taking me door to door to get candy with my costume on. I even remember that every year I wanted to be a ghost. I didn’t have creativity back then. Until one year she said let’s try something different and she painted my face and I went as a clown. I had so much candy that year. To the point of my mother saying, “you are going to have candy coming out of your ears”. Now that I’m older that was kinda funny.
Another thing, I love about Halloween is that it’s in the season of Fall, not to mention my birthday is the next day. So while you are trick or treating you can still see the different trees colors that still looks amazing at night. Also in the Fall, it’s not so cold. It also depends, if the weather will cooperate. You never know what you might get and especially living in good’ole NYC you never know what mother nature has up her sleeve. One October we got snow, yes snow. It’s was in the early part of October but it was a bit of surprise. Something else I really enjoy about Halloween is the fashion it was always a surprise to see what the next kid would be wearing. I thought it was cool to see what my neighbors would wear or whenever I went to school some of the kids would come dressed up in their costumes. There were a few daredevils who would throw eggs at people which kinda made me want to stay home every Halloween after. To close, I would say all the things I mention made Halloween fun and it gave you something to look forward to after a long day of school or work.
Do you have a favorite memory of Halloween if so, Please share? I would love to hear about it. Also, what was the weather like when your favorite memory took place?
Have you ever wondered why you follow certain pages on Instagram? I have come to the realization I only follow interior design and quotes pages. I enjoy seeing different home interiors. It gives me a vision of what I may want to do to my own home someday. Which also plays major a part of me thinking about my future. You may say”This is how I would like my living room or this is how I would love for my kitchen to be designed.” I have grown a custom to seeing design and quote pages so much that it brings me a sense of ease when I see them on my feed. As for the quotes pages, I follow mostly positive and spiritual pages. There is more than enough negativity going on in this world and I would much rather see the positive so the negative is not affecting my mood.
The quote pages I’ve followed speak life into my soul. I don’t follow things that have a negative impact on my mood because I’ve come to understand one picture or word can put a dimmer on the light that is supposed to shine brightly. Let’s face it, in this day and age words and pictures can cause some troubling thoughts. There is nothing worse than seeing something on your feed that changes your whole mood. This also goes to show you how social media has an impact on everything and everyone. Just think about it, what’s is the first thing you do in the morning when you wake up. I love social media but sometimes and it can be a bit much. There is nothing wrong with just taking a break and checking self.
I say all this to say, take a look at your feed. Do you follow a particular person because they add value to your life or do you follow them because they inspire you to be a better you? What about the other pages you follow? Do you follow them because they bring humor to you, everyone needs humor or do you follow them because you just want to be part of the pack? I have a couple pages on my feed that I unfollowed because they were not bringing value or inspiration into my life. Sometimes you just need to unfollow certain people and pages. Tell yourself, There is no room for that negative energy in your life.
My challenge for you is to take a look at your social media feed and ask yourself why do I follow a certain page or a person? If you can’t come up with a logical reason, I challenge you to unfollow.