One of the toughest things you can deal with is heartache. Right now I am dealing with just that, a heartache. Heartache is not only a romantic thing, it can also be over a friendship. The heartache I feel is over the loss of a friend. I really genuinely felt like I could call this person a friend. To be honest, I still feel that way. This heartache sits a little differently.
One day I started to see that things between this person and I had change. I now know that things have changed. I tried my hardest to communicate and reach out to see if there is anything we could do to fix it and try to work on it. As humans, you will never be able to stop making mistakes because that is just how we learn, through trial and error. But, because I value friendship and I know from experience that good friends are hard to come by. I wanted to reach out and see if I could remedy the situation. I take friendships just as seriously as I take my romantic relationships. Plus, my circle of friends is so small that I try to be as open and honest as possible with the people I choose to let in.
To say I don’t feel anything, I would be a liar because I feel everything that has to do with this heartache. When you go from speaking to a person everyday to them ignoring you and not saying anything to you. That’s what hurts the most. I have tried to ask questions because you can look back to see if you have said anything wrong, overstepped on boundaries. To me, it is always better to ask the person who you hurt what you did. I went from hearing from this person every day to not hearing from this person at all. Let me tell you that is a hard pill to swallow. Especially when you think so highly of this person. You start to question did you mean anything at all. Then you come to realize that maybe not. So you sit down and allow yourself to deal with this loss.
My hope is that these people that we feel for and still feel for will. Well in my case will always feel for and have a place in my heart for, understand that you value them. Trust them, and want nothing but the best for them. One day you hope they see that. Even if it means that you won’t be there to see it with them.
Friendships matter in a world that only values what you can do for me. I like to see what I can do for them. So love the friends you have because you never know when they will just walk away from you.
So to this person, If you ever see this just know I value you, and hope one day you and I can have a conversation about what helped us drift apart. Until then friend I wish you love, success and happiness in everything you touch.