Happy ThanksGiving

As we celebrate with our families. I hope your are being safe and well prepared. I look forward to all the cooked food and just spending time with me and my mom. It has been a rough year from working from home and to losing lots of family members. I hope you and your loved one get a chance to love on each other whether near or far. I hope you know that you don’t need to see them in person for you or them to know that their love is around you no matter what.

Stay safe amazing people,



Life is a Journey!

Two weeks after 29, I realize I am still learning new things every single day. Between the ups and downs, you learn to be quiet when trouble arise and speak up when life throws you a chance. Especially, when stuff is not going as plan. We have been in a pandemic for more than 8 months. We are not sure what the future holds but we can only hope for change and understanding.

Everything around us is changing at a fast pace and moving at an even faster pace. People are losing their lives. Children are being bounce around from home to school and back. Life is an ever evolving door. We face each day as a new challenge and a even bigger test. I on the other hand has been put in the biggest test. The potential of the outcome of 2020 being filled with extreme anxiety and uncertainty. I realize to curb your anxiety you need to first figure out what is triggering it.

Over the last couple of months I have realize my anxiety has taking a front seat in my life. I wasn’t sure what was causing it and why it was causing me to feel defeated. Every single time something uncertain happens I feel this sensation in my chest and my heart starts beating at an unstoppable pace. This is when I knew something other than nerves was taking over my life. At the age of 29, anxiety was making it self known to me. I also figured out that when I write in my journal about my feelings it tends to take the edge off of my breathing and my heart’s pace slows.

Also listening to Christmas music has help as well. I sleep with Christmas music playing to keep my mind at ease. Yes, all year round. I pray, some might not believe in that. It has helped me. I watch different pastors, who I can relate to. I find that the uncertainty causes a lot of anxiety because I can’t put my finger on what I should do next. It has been a year of uncertainty. We as a nation still have more to find out and hopefully we can find a way to heal. My hope is that in the end, we as a nation can grow, learn and stand on our principles. We know what it is like to fight but do we know what it is like to heal. I say let us find healing because fighting is starting to get old and used. We broke down mountains so we can build hills. Let those hills flourish and we find our peace in knowing that we can fight but find healing at the end.

Until next time, Find healing and grow those hills. 🙂


Starting All Over Again!

Have you ever felt like you were learning to walk again ? I have and it feels like your feet just won’t move. Over the last couple of months of quarantine, in some form or way we all had to sit life out. We did some reflecting, we did some soul searching, and truth telling. You may not think you did, but you did. Ask yourself are you the same person you were five months ago? If the answer is no, then you know you did some reflecting, soul searching, and truth telling.

In that time, you found out just who you really are as individual. Learning what your triggers are, you learn what your faults are and you learn where you can be of use and when to step away. In my twenty-eight years, I’ve done a couple of trip where I got lost in not knowing if I would make it out. You learn with age, they say. Wisdom will find you, they say. Then when you feel like all else fails, you just sit there and ask yourself, what’s is next? No one can give you that answer, trust me. I’ve asked the closest people to me and they informed me I would figure it out. Funny right, haha.

Now what, I ask myself? How do I fix this struggle I’m in? How do I fix this stressful situation I’m in? I do the only thing I know how and that is to keep moving forward with my head held high. This is what you call learning with age. This is what you call finding the courage to keep fighting and not backing down when everybody else says it time. How is it time to stop fighting when they couldn’t answer a simple question such as “where does wisdom come from?” and I’m not speaking of wisdom that you now know you have but the wisdom of your parents and their parents etc. You never know how strong and smart you are until you have to fight alone, while everyone else has left. You will learn in the end that you are your own superhero and superpower. Just like your parents and their parents. We all have a purpose and we all have choices to stand on that purpose. Yes it is easier to run but what happens when you get tired and worn out. You fight.

So superhero I say use that superpower and walk on by those struggles.

Until we meet again,



Wow 2020!

Hello everyone, I know I’ve been gone for some time. There is just a lot going on. Year started off great for me and then it took a turn. I’m pretty sure you know about the Covid-19 and how its impacting families around the world. My family was not spared one bit.

January and February was going so well. Then March happen, my job started figuring out plans on how to teach students from home. Boom, now we are working from home and I have all this work I need to get done. So, I get it done and not to mention I was just grateful to just have a job. With businesses closing left and right. I was motivated and ready.

April comes in like a tornado that is ready to take any and everyone down. I loss a total of five people in one week. Literally, was a walking zombie. One of my toughest losses was my grandmother and great-aunt dying just an one-hour and 30 minutes apart. What was even tougher, I couldn’t even go to the funerals because of Covid- 19. I set helpless on the sideline. Dealing With the loss of my loved ones and still working because my job made it clear that if I wanted a check, I had to do the work. While dealing with the losses of my loved one, I was still working very hard to complete the workload that was giving to me.

Everyday, I would cry a little , type a little and repeat. It was a mess. I was a mess. Then May comes and we are still stuck in the house and having to watch the world fall every bit apart. Covid- 19 killing thousands of people and my city is the epicenter of it all. We are now on an official lockdown but not really. Everytime I step outside of my house , I have a mask, hand sanitizer and gloves. As soon I come home, I throw my gloves in the trash, wash my hands and strip my clothing and hop in the shower. Repeated that process so many times I was starting to think I was going to run out of water.

June comes and everyone is enjoying the summer weather and things start to seem like everything is back to normal, except it’s really not. Now the other half of the world is literally suffering greatly again. They have lifted the stay at home order but I’m still enjoying the comfort of my home. Though NYC is not the epicenter anymore, I still feel for my family and myself that I love truly beyond measures is that we should continue to social distance.

July!!!!!!!!!! the question on everyone’s mind now is will schools open in the fall? Parents have to get back to work, teachers are just sitting and looking at four walls. Everyone’s opinion matters except for the people who are literally doing the actual job. Safety they say but send out emails making sure you know if you don’t show up for work, “if they decide to open schools in the fall.” You will be responsible for what happens to you. Great right?

Working with children with autism and other sorts of disabilities. You learn that they love you without borders. Literally they love you so much, some children will come sit on your lap just so you can love them. Which is not appropriate for social distancing as they say we will be doing. They say kids will be wearing a mask. Yeah ok, you try and get a strong seven year old to wear a mask. Then tell me how you got hit with something he’s holding because you was forcing him to do something he doesn’t understand. Yeah, That’s happens more than you think. Also as a person who have what they call and underlying health problem and with every single day something new happens and they have no clue how they will protect us. Having an older mother and scared to death about bringing this virus home to her because someone doesn’t want to wear a mask. Worries me greatly.

I stand with your choice to do what’s best for your family and I stand with my choice to do what’s best for mine. We all miss our students and we love them without borders but what will happens when you put us in century old building without being able to open windows because remember after Fall comes Winter that means turning the heat on. Which means windows will be closed and people like me with asthmas will have to sit in a room with heat and mask on.

But who am I? Just so we are clear you do what’s best for you and yours.

Stay safe world!


The Changing of Times

We as the world are very much changing. With most of us on lockdown at home and working from home. I can honestly say it’s been an adjustment. Waking up my same time and trying to find a balance with going from the bed to my now overwhelmed computer. Yes, my computer is very overwhelmed with how much work i’ve had to download on to it. With not being able to move freely because of this everyday changing times is starting to feel like, WOW!

You can say we are unsure about what will happen next. So instead of using this time of yours talking about what we already know and what you may think you know. I will use this time as a way of saying, WE WILL BE FINE! nothing more or nothing less. I look in mirror every morning feeling grateful that I am able to wake up to a job and I am able to be at home doing that job. I am thankful that I get to see my mom, who I only get to see in morning for maybe an hour before I had to run to a job and then wait until a little after 3PM to see again. Now, I get to spend some time with her and still be able to complete my assignments for my ever demanding job.

I can’t express, how blessed I am to sit here feeling like though people are getting sick and are uncertain about the aftermath of this all. May God bless those people with a speedy recovery. God bless our first responders who are putting their everything in to save people’s lives. Instead focus on the now and not what’s to come. We can look at in many ways and say what will I do after this is all done. I will answer that for ” YOU WILL LIVE.” You will be the best you can be and you will do it with grace. Sending you hugs and lots of love.





Hello, I know it’s been a while. In my break away from the RedefinedLove.blog, I’ve learned a few things. I had to take a break because I needed to find clarity for myself and my journey. I wanted to find peace in the struggle. In the end, I found that there will never be peace if you allow others to change what you see for you. And to be honest, everyday I struggle with the journey I’m on. As I start to understand the struggles of my life’s journey. Though hard at times, I now know that in life you will have to fight for what you want and pay close attention to what causes you discomfort. I pay more attention to the things that affect the way I feel, more than I do the things that make me comfortable now.

It all started, when I came to a shocking realization that no one and I do mean no one will understand what you are going through. Let’s be real, people like to see others struggle because it makes them feel like their world is not so bad. In actuality, until you learn to face your struggles head on you will always find comfort in being comfortable. Someone had to make me uncomfortable because I had become to comfortable in the space that I was in.

My one true fear was facing my true self and feeling like the world would judge me based off of that fear. Then I realized everyone has a fear. Mines was not allowing me to be me. So I did a simple search on Amazon to find self-help books and this one had spark my interest. I didn’t buy it at first because I wasn’t sure if I was ready or not to face that fear. Maybe a week or so ago I decide to take the plunge and buy it. The book is called “Fear is My Homeboy by Judi Holler”. When I say this book changed my life along with the other books I have read over the months. I started paying attention to the things that made me fear being in my own personal space. When I went to work, I started to realize I was not myself out of fear of what others would think. I felt like I had to choose between them and me.

When in reality, I should have been choosing me all along. I read another book called Strengthening Her Essence – A woman’s guide to Liberation through truth By Fila McMillan -Antwine. These books was making me feel comfortable with me. All while being uncomfortable with how much I was giving myself away to others. I was protecting others while leaving myself left open. I started to understand why my journey was so hard because I had nothing left to build me up. I was giving all myself away while no one was pouring in to me. All this time, I had blinders covering my vision. All because I wanted to see the good in everyone around me and not paying attention to the fact that they were just using my strength to put the batteries in their backs. All while mine were on empty. Yet that didn’t stop me from giving.

About a week ago, All the this stuff started to take a toll on me. I remember feeling like the world was coming down on me so hard. I was emotional and couldn’t come to terms with what was happening. I didn’t understand the lesson that was about to reveal itself was going to make me question all the things I had put in to play to help everyone around me. Was now leaving me to drown on my own. Not to mention the person I was going to bat for was the one that was allowing me drown the most because they was covering for themselves. All my life, I have been a team player, no one could get me to oppose the home team. Now, the home team was the one who violated me the most. Yeah, goes back to a hard pill to swallow. Not to mention people warned me before but they say you shouldn’t judge anyone based off of others opinions. I should have listen just a little and still kept as an open zone.

This is when I started to look at how comfortable I had become. It made me upset that I had allowed myself to get that comfortable with this situation to point I had to put up my wall again. I had to reevaluate everything that had let get me so deep in to this situation. This in the end was the lesson that put my fear to the test. Everyone was so use to me being the yes woman to now I’m asking questions. I want to know why certain things are not happening. To the point that I’m now making others uncomfortable because now they feel like they have to come up with new logics to pacify me because they couldn’t believe quiet me was now standing up for herself. It only caused more questions for me. Every question that it caused I asked to point that it caused some people who was looking out for themselves to now be cautions of how they try to pacify me. Now, who was uncomfortable you ask. Them!

I’m not saying you can’t see the good in others. What I’m saying is don’t be blind to people that will only see what they can get from you and leave you empty. It’s not how you fall it’s how you bounce back. I’m now on the rode to recovery because not only am I me and I’m allowing my fear to teach me a new profound respect for myself. I made it my homeboy because that what has put more batteries in my back and I refused to give this fuse away again.


November 1st, 1991

Let’s take look down memory Lane! On November 1st, 1991, I was born at around 3pm. As of yesterday November 1st, 2019,

I became a 28 year old woman with a purpose. As with any sort of age change you feel thankful. With this age change,I feel gratitude. Not only did I make it to 28, I can honestly say I am doing amazing. Everyday that I wake up, I am aware of the love, positivity, strength and abundance, I have in my life. No more self- hate, no more negative feelings. I am at peace with the changes I have made in my life.

They do say with age comes wisdom and new changes of how you see your life. I can honestly say they have some valid points. I no longer feel the need to find who I am because I now know. I no longer seek opinions, I go with my instincts. If I feel something is off, I move accordly. I no longer fight for things that are not meant for me to grasp, I move on. I am still the loving person people gravitate to and I am more than ok with that but I no longer allow others or life to leech off of me. I stand firm on who I am. I move the way I am suppose to but with a few more steps than before. I no longer hold my head down, I hold it up high so people can see me and I will no longer fall victim to society.

Over the last months leading up to my 28th birthday, I started to see changes happening. I started reading more. I started being thankful and positive about the changes that were happening. I stopped letting little things bother me and started moving on. And if it was upsetting my thought process, I cancelled it. Making better choices for my life was my main focus and still is as I type this. Future preparations was happening and I was loving every minute of it. Peace of mind was taking over, I couldn’t be more proud of the woman I was growing in to. Love was no longer a chore it was necessity. Peace is a priority. With that came a better flowing life. 😀

I started wondering, how these changes was taking affect. So I sat down with my thoughts. I started paying attention to me. I started listening to Cynethia. I had all these changes in me. The little girl in me was afraid to release it due to fear of what others may think. This new woman is not in that little girls shadow anymore, she is the leader of the pack.

As I prepare to lead me and every fiber of being to peace and harmony. I will do so by loving and caring for me. There is no greater love than yourself awareness of you. I reached my late 20s and I found Cynethia. I vow to her today, November 2nd, 2019 to never lose her again. She’s been with me every step of the way. I just needed to trust her and know that we had each others back. So if you know you, love you. It brings peace and a better flowing life. 🙂❤

Motivational Moment: Growing is part of life but so is love. Give yourself the love you need and watch how it changes how you see life. Growth is there, stop hiding behind your little girl/ boy. It is ok to listen to you. 🌹


Two Whole Weeks of Love!

With two whole weeks of being able to be back with my babies(students). I can honestly say I really feel like this year is going to be different. On September 4th, 2019, I walked in to 2 years as a paraprofessional(Teaching Assistant). 1 year as sub -Para and 1 year as full- time para. I can honestly say that I never felt more full than I do now. Stepping in to this purpose I call love means more to me than anything in this world. What I’m feeling is gratitude and humbleness to my core.

I do almost the same things as a teacher but with less of the bells and whistles. If you understand what I’m saying. 🙂 As well as learning to work with multiple age groups and different personalities. Let me tell you, all my babies(Students) have one heck of personality in them. Everyday you never know what to expect but just know that you will learn just as much from them as they will learn from you.

You take on a whole new meaning of love and dedication as you work with these amazing babies. I have to honestly say my favorite is working with the babies (K-2- the group I work with now) I love getting a chance to watch them as they flourish on so many levels. The level of smartness that you see in them will have you wondering what took you so long to take the leap of faith in this thing called education.

Let’s do a bit of reflecting!

When you was younger what did you dream about the most? It would be what you wanted to be when you grew up. Then it would be, what your future would be like Ie. How many kids, your wedding, your house, etc. I’ll tell you the two things I wanted to be when I grew up, The very first thing I wanted to be was a paralegal because I saw all the cute suits on the different lawyers I came in contact with. I loved the idea of riding on cool elevators with my mother to the top of these shiny floors. Getting off and waiting in these quiet areas then walking in to this beautiful office space with these grand desk and someone so important sitting behind it. My how has life changed. Then reality hit, you had to go school for a lot of years and take the bar that would kill your brain cells , you don’t get a break or time off. As much as I thought you did. You don’t get to set your own hours. basically you’re always on call. I like vacations, I came to that realizations. 🙂

The second thing I wanted to be was a teacher. Tada! I saw how awesome my teachers was and wanted to be just like them. I realized they was making a difference in my life so I wanted to make a difference as well. I would come home after school and pretend that I was standing in front of my class in my room, Of course. Take out my textbook and pace back and forth teaching my pretend class. Then I would give out homework , just like my teacher. Lol. I would close down for the day and find something else to do. LIke my actual homework. lol!

Let’s talk about my real job!

Monday – Friday I go to a place that feels like hope. I get up every morning and feel grateful for the chance to make that difference that many moons ago, my teachers did for me. When it doesn’t feel like a job you know you found something special. Though in the beginning, challenging because not know what to expect can be a bit scary for anyone. Now being 2 years in and knowing what’s expected and required of me. I take it as a beautiful chance to learn new ways of doing things. Like I said in the previous blog, I just make sure my students are safe and everything else will have to just figure it self out.

No more stressing over the things I have no control over. You learn to move the way you suppose to move and stick to what you know. You learn to figure out what works for you and do that with everything in you. Every now and again you have to change it a little but you never move away from what you know. You stick to the fundamentals and focus on getting these babies to the finish line. You lead by example and find your own pace and fight that good fight. You learn to have tunnel vision and be the change you want to see. You learn to not allow others to be in your ear because not everyone knows what works for you. They only know what works for them. You learn to only ask for people’s advice when it’s really needed because not everyone is going to give you the best advice. The harsh reality is they will keep that for themselves. In a world full competition, it is very real and no one wants the newbie to win.

Words of Encouragement….. shall we!

As you find what works for you, do it with love. Always remember you will get love if you give love. Stay focus on you path and you will do just fine.

With Love,



Life Changes!

Over the last couple of months, my life has changed a lot. From marking the 2 year anniversary of me working at my amazing job. To losing a few close people to gaining new people. Finding peace and strength while going through hardship and struggles. All while doing it with a smile, every single day. I say all that to say my absent from Redefinelove.blog was not on purpose but it was for the better.

While I was gone from my lovely blog, I marked 2 years with WordPress which is also something to celebrate when your hobbies change a lot. I tend to get bored with a lot of things but for some reason I’m still committed to this blog. It just so happens life responsibilities got in the way.

Shall we do a little recap!

Last blog, I talked about heartache. I was going through it with losing a very dear friend. I’m here to let you know, I’ve found peace with that and have moved on to being grateful for the time we had. The good and the bad.

Now let’s get to the good stuff, Shall we!

What’s been going on?

First, I’ve been reading more books. Mostly on self development and women empowerment. All while empowering my lovely students to do the same. I read a book called The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. I have to say it changed my perspective on how I look at life. In return, it led to me reading the other two (The Power, and I’m currently reading a book called The Magic.) I have to say these books changed my life. I found peace knowing that you can only attract what you give your attention to. Negative attention attracts negative attention. Positive attention attracts positive attention. This is the law of attraction.

In the end, if you don’t want something to be attach to you don’t give it a second thought. While I was stressing myself out over small things. I could have just simply stop giving it attention all together. Plus, the pressure and the stress would have cease. I would have been a lot more happier had I just focused my attention elsewhere.

Now every morning, I wake up the first things that comes out of my mouth is thank you and today will be a good day. I try to attract positive energy from the time I wake up to the time I go to bed. Also, I learned that you can’t take on everyone else’s problems. You can listen but you can’t try and fix it. It is not meant for you to fix. I’ll say that again it is not meant for you to fix. Yes by nature we are fixers, we think if someone is telling us their problems we should automatically jump in and fix it. Not how life works. Let me tell you! You just end up taking on the world’s problems and not having enough problem solving skills for that. Who got time for that! In other words, biting off more than you can chew. 🙂

Yes, be the ear but not the fixer. What else has been going on? Oh, I worked my first summer as a full time working woman. That was fun and trying at the same time. This is also the time I found my peace of mind. The new school year started this month (September 2019). I was refreshed and ready to tackle whatever came my way because of a little five letter word called peace.

So far we are now entering our 2nd full week of school and I know it’s going to be a good school year. I’m not stressing over things I can’t change just making sure I’m doing my job effectively and keeping my students safe. Everything else will just have to figure itself out. This new found peace and freedom has made my glow comeback and has made me a happier individual.

Words of encouragement…..time:

As you set out on your day/ evening, know that you are doing ok. Let yourself find peace in whatever you put your footprint on. No matter what it is. Stay positive and be grateful for everything.

I think i’m going to do a book nook on this blog….. not sure yet. I would like to make it fun and brighten it up a little bit. I provided the links for all the books I’ve read and currently reading. if you want to check them out. 🙂

Until next time,
Cynethia 🙂



One of the toughest things you can deal with is heartache. Right now I am dealing with just that, a heartache. Heartache is not only a romantic things, it can also be over a friendship . The heartache I feel is over the loss of a friend. I really genuinely felt like I could call this person a friend. To be honest, I still feel that way. This heartache sits a little differently.

One day I started to see that things between this person and I had change. I now know that things have changed. I tried my hardest to communicate and reach out to see if there is anything we could do to fix it and try to work on it. As humans you will never be able to stop making mistakes because that is just how we learn, through trial and error. But, because I value friendship and I know from experience that good friends are hard to come by. I wanted to reach out and see if I could remedy the situation. I take friendships just as serious as I take my romantic relationships. Plus, my circle of friends is so small that I try to be as open and honest as possible with the people I choose to let in.

To say I don’t feel anything,I would be a liar because I feel everything that has to do with this heartache. When you go from speaking to a person everyday to them ignoring you and not saying anything to you. That’s what hurts the most. I have tried to ask questions because you can look back to see if you have said anything wrong, overstepped on boundaries. To me it is always better to ask the person who you hurt what you did. I went from hearing from this person everyday to not hearing from this person at all. Let me tell you that is a hard pill to swallow. Especially when you think so highly of this person. You start to question did you mean anything at all. Then you come realize that maybe not. So you sit down and allow yourself to deal with this loss.

My hope is that these people that we feel for and still feel for will. Well in my case will always feel for and have a place in my heart for, understand that you value them. Trust them, and want nothing but the best for them. One day you hope they see that. Even if it means that you won’t be there to see it with them.

Friendships matter in a world that only values what you can do for me. I like to see what I can do for them. So love the friends you have because you never know when they will just walk away from you.

So to this person, If you ever see this just know I value you, and hope one day you and I can have a conversation about what helped us drift apart. Until then friend I wish you love, success and happiness in everything you touch.




Identifying You! :)

Over the last couple of months, I’ve been struggling with who I am. I’ve been caught between the people pleaser Cynethia and the I really don’t want to do that Cynethia. I’ve set goals for myself, and didn’t follow through with them. I struggled with love, trust, understanding, being overly emotional, to just down right being complicated.

I having falling apart, pick myself up, fell again and repeated. I neglected my site. Not to mention, I have a job that’s so demanding and tiring that all I want to do when I get home is take a nap at 3 in the afternoon. I say all this to say, I had a couple months of struggle. 🙂

When I realized, I was losing me. I couldn’t figure out where I went wrong. I had all these questions but not a single answer. I remember getting up going to work and doing my job but not feeling the joy I once had. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job and it is rewarding to do what I do and see the results. But….. No one tells you about the after effects of getting the things you love and losing you in the process.

Your friends and textbooks don’t say, “Girl you should make time for you.” You don’t work this hard just to work and not have fun. You need to stop doing everything and just do what you are required to do. No one says, in the working world people only do what is required. Because…. they have been doing the job for so many years, that they have become tired of doing extra of stuff.🤦‍♀️

When I say I was doing everything and feeling overworked. I felt like I had 8 arms and 2 legs and juggling at the same time. If my job offered it, I should have gotten a sticker that said ” the working horse: if you don’t do it, she will.” I was taking on other people’s job because I felt like I had to. Trust, they didn’t object to it; because someone else was doing their job. So they was like here take my workload, I’m just going to sit here and look good. I became tired and aggravated, to point that I started looking at people sideways. What I didn’t realize was, I didn’t set the ground rules when I first came in. I was so afraid of doing something wrong that I was working like my life and legacy depended on it. Which it didn’t, to be truthful and still don’t.

I didn’t want no marks , no F’s, no incomplete, no derogatory comments. Nothing! I was going to prove I was meant to be there and I was able to stand the test of time. Not paying attention to the fact that I was failing at life and failing myself in the process of pleasing a job that would still be there, after I had stress myself out. Let’s be honest, I was headed to stress land. I was on a one way ticket. I wanted so badly to speak up to people who felt like they could tell me what to do but didn’t have the credentials to back it up. Knowing deep down, I had a voice but at that time, the cat had my tongue. I wasn’t at my best and I wasn’t standing in my true form. I was standing in a window of fear and toxic energy that was causing me to question, Who am I?

Until I was able to realize that I was doing more harm than good. I kept this trend going for a few more months before I finally got myself together. Finally, I decide after reading a book that a co-worker had lend me called “TD. Jakes: Instincts,” This book spoke to me so much that I had a moment where I felt like he was sitting in my house, reprimanding me like he was my parent. It was at that moment, I started to realize I no longer wanted to be a yes woman. 🙂 I wanted to be Cynethia again and I knew that she was in there somewhere waiting for me to open the window. Hoping that I would free my inner voice and speak up for the person that my mother raised. Before I found me again, I was coming home complaining and wishing I would have spoke up for myself. Stress eating unhealthy foods and praying that it wouldn’t stick to my thighs, knowing good and well it was. 🤷‍♀️ But hey, it sure was tasty and it helped me bond with my inner struggle. On the weekends, I didn’t want to do nothing. I wanted to sleep. Nothing less, nothing more. No ambition to get stuff done, no determination, no perverances. Letting other opinion dictate what I should be doing, instead of following my instincts on what I know. Bishop Jakes said “Just because a person has more experience than you, doesn’t mean they know more than you.” I found that to be: the truth.

No one should ever make you question your ability to Identify You. No one should ever put fear or toxic energy in your thought process to make you feel like you don’t belong or fit the cause. If you didn’t belong or fit the cause you wouldn’t have made it this far. This is your proof that you belong and you don’t need someone else opinion that you don’t. Another quote I took from the book was “While you can respect others opinion, you cannot walk on someone else wisdom, who have never been on your level.” When I say I was shocked by these word….I was. Because…. in life we takes someone else words to heart way to often. We believe that if they are saying it, they mean it. Here’s a little secret, your enemy can say something that could put you in a worst case scenario. Knowing that it will take you off your game. People in this day an age don’t want someone else to shine because they know it will reflect on what they don’t have or strive to have. Harsh reality for a harsh world. We all like to try and see the good but in this thing called life , the bad balances everything out. You can’t have something positive without something negative popping up. And you can’t have something good without the bad. This is how life is meant to work and have been for many years. How you interpret it is how you see yourself at that moment. Life will only give you what you put out in the world. This is what I am realizing as become an older woman in my late 20s. You can’t have the good without bad. You can’t be at peace without finding what truly makes you happy. These are all things that Identifies You.

What did I do to get back to me? I found more positive things to make me change my outlook on my life. I listen to podcast,I read more books and quotes, I changed my circle of friends and watch who I let near me. But…. most importantly I follow my instincts because I know they won’t leave me hanging. I don’t do what I don’t want to do. I listen to others opinions but I don’t take it to heart anymore. I realize people like to talk and I no longer care; to be honest. I can’t change a person opinion and it’s not part of my job description, so why do I care. Once I came to that conclusion that everyone is not meant to like you and\or accept you. I freed my mind. Because their opinion does not help me pay my bills, feed my family, help me get in to the afterlife, put more money in my bank account. Help me do my job effectively. Why do I care? Some people love to hear themselves talk because they like the sound of their voices; it soothes their souls and put a bandaid on what they don’t want to face at that moment: Themselves.

One thing you can’t run from is YOU. Eventually you have to face you and your troubles (struggles). So I ask that you Identify you. No matter how strong we think we are, there is something that catches our tongues and hold on to them. Know the signs and knock them out the park. Before you become like me and forget your identity and lose who you are meant to be.

Until next time,



When do you say “I am enough”?

My 2019 has started off with some awesome days. As I type this I came to realization that I am enough. No one can tell me how to live my life, what to expect from my life, what I should focus on in my life. I am living my life for me. In 2019, I will not be afraid to take a risk.

When I came to this Epiphany, I was telling this guy, I liked him. I did say in 2019 I was going to go after everything I wanted no matter how scary it may be, I was going after it. So being the Scorpio ♏️ I am. I was like why not let him know you like him. So I did.

Well let just say after I did , the nerves set in and now my head/heart won’t (I did say I wasn’t going to use this word either.)stop thinking what have you done🤦🏾‍♀️. I remember I said I was not going to allow me to stand in my way. I meant what I said. This is when the words “I am enough” set in. I was getting ready to text him to forget it but then I was like girl get over yourself. You said your peace, let it go and move on.

So that’s what I did. We had a conversation and he expressed a different feeling because let’s just face it, I’m a lot to handle. Being a strong willed woman and a focus one at that can be a lot for one man to handle. Let me clarify, a lot for the wrong man to handle. One thing I do know, is how to be a woman who is supportive of a man she seeks and show him the affection he needs. Especially when it’s needed. So when he said he didn’t feel the same, I was disappointed at first but I quickly understood.

So when he ask to be friends, I was like cool. As I type this I’m moving past my feelings for him because he said he wanted to be friends but I’m seeing things differently. No, he doesn’t want a relationship but does he really want a friendship? Here’s where I learn to read the signs of what happening inside my circle that is ever so small. With my friends I communicate with them mostly every now and again. I check on them, I ask them what’s happening in their lives. You know the usual. I’m checking but he’s not. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Also, I remember I said if it doesn’t serve a purpose, I’m letting it go. It will be removed from my life. I meant that as well. What I don’t want to do is not be a supportive friend but I also like to be supported. I’ve dealt with the friends where the relationship was one-sided and I vowed to eliminate those kinds of relationships. I plan to keep that tradition in 2019. Right now I’m not seeing the purpose this person serves in my life. He’s just holding up space that could be use for someone who may need me to be a ear, shoulder or place to be true friend. I can’t be a true friend if this person won’t allow me in.

Though I know this may be hard for this person because My intuition says that he’s trying to figure me out as much as I’m trying figure him out. We may need to just part ways. If it’s meant to be we may meet again in the future. Then, just maybe we both will have some clarity on what we both want or he may meet his forever or I will meet mine. Either way we just can’t keeping going down a road that is not clear. It’s not a positive thing. It’s a hindering thing. What I will not allow is for something to hinder me in place that’s I can’t see the potential in its future. So today, I will be having a conversation with this person. If we can’t come to some sort of understanding/clarity then it time to remove it from my life.

When you feel like you are not enough. I want you to say to yourself, “I am enough.” Cancel those negative thoughts and focus on what you know and what you can do. Don’t focus on the what will happen if I say this or do this. Focus on the what will happen, if I spoke it into existence or what will happen if I took that step and followed through. Nine times out ten you will feel relieved and at peace. Take that step, it ok to be anxious but don’t block yourself from freedom.

Until next time,



Welcome, 2019!

Happy New Year, I would like to do some reflecting on the past year.

From starting a new job, planning for my future, to setting plans and procedures to help make it thru the upcoming year(2019).

We are now, 6 days in, I can say honestly that I never felt so good about a year, even though it just started.

My plan is to make this year my best from working hard at a job I love, to focusing on being a woman of growth and strength. As well as taking the good and the bad with the outlook of a positive outcome. Whether it is the outcome I wanted or the outcome that was needed. I plan to make the best of it no matter what.

This year I will only focus on the positive. My mindset is that I will no longer allow the negative to impact my mind, my soul, my performance, my ethics, nothing that I know that as a strong-willed woman that I can control. I will no longer allow it to have a hold on me, it will be ignored and pushed out of my thought process.

I’m no longer using words such as can’t and won’t. These are words that hold negative endings. Well to me it does. I will not be limiting myself from trying to conquer every challenge that is placed in front of me.

So here is to the New Year. Let’s fight for what we want and taking every step, not just the first few.


Happy Weekend!!!!

September is just flying by.

As another week comes to a close. I want to do some reflecting.

Can you say that you are the same person you were a year ago?

I can’t.

I can say I have grown into something so different, so much so it surprises me sometimes.😊

From the ever-changing days to ever-changing nights. 

When we sleep we dream of the impossible but when we wake up we see the impossible. 

There is no feeling greater than impossible.  

 As individuals, we see that those impossibles become possibilities.

When they become possibilities they become a legacy. 

I bet you didn’t think about that.🤔

You don’t have to be famous to leave a legacy.😉

Legacy: What does a legacy mean to you?

My hope for my legacy is: 

When people think of me, I hope they say she was kind-hearted, determined, and focused to be the best woman/person she could be.

I hope they say when she started something she never looked back until that task was completed.

She moved on knowing she did everything possible to show her tenacity. 

Her words were to be spoken with purpose and spoken with no fear but faith in the task at hand.

This is what I hope my legacy leads to.

What do you hope for your legacy?

As I reflect on my growth and my upcoming impossibles.

All I ask is that you keep building a legacy that will show and leave a lasting impression on the world. Better yet the people you touch. 

I’ll end it here by saying you touch everyone you come in contact with.

Even when you think you don’t, know that you do and they feel the power of you

Keep flying friends,



First Week Back to Work!!!!

My first week back to work:

As I was a little nervous getting ready to enter back into my routine, after being off for

the summer. 

With a feeling and a little voice inside my head telling me that I would be ok.

I still felt butterflies in my stomach like it was my first day. 

I remember entering into the same building for nine months only missing two but parts of me were still unsure.

I did my regular stuff, saw some of my co-workers and went into my orientation like any other day.

Little did I know, my gut was telling me that changes were happening.

After all the meetings and getting through the first half of the morning. 

I found out I would be moving from the very first place I ever worked for ☹.

Are you ready for the happy part:

Still a little scared but found out this place was super close to my home and had some of

my co-workers moving as well.  I was getting home before rush hour (💃). 

Plus, after the first few days, I felt a little better about this new change.

Changes you say:

One great part is it was within walking distances of my home. 

Some of my co-workers were joining me.

less traffic in the morning/ less hassle of having to plan my route to leave before the sun comes up.

peace of mind.

These are great changes and I look forward to achieving so many things with this new change.

PS, Change is better when you’re able to share it.

Share your change and I bet you will feel amazing about it.

Speak to you all soon,




Happy Monday/Labor Day

Hello Everyone,

As we welcome the unofficial end to summer.☹

Yes, it is time to say Goodbye to our summer holidays and hello to our beautiful work

environment. (😊see what I did there.)

I don’t want you to feel like its a burden. I want you to feel like you’re going to rock

whatever comes your way.💃🕺

There is going to be some challenges, I know for a fact you will make it through every last one.

Plus, you will say to yourself, “WOW!!!! that wasn’t so bad.”

Allow yourself the chance to be you. Do things your way and follow what your gut and

mind tell you.

Never overshadow your potential and never forget what you are capable of. 🎉🎊

Wake up every day and feel like there is nothing standing in your way and continue to push through.

So I wish you nothing but happiness and success as we push through together.

until next time friend,






Back to Work/School

Hello All,

As summer comes to a close, I want to wish those of you going back to school or work a

successful and amazing school/work year.

I will be going to back to work in September with new hope and new guidance.

I can’t wait to see what this new school year has to offer

and what’s in the works for my future.

I will be working on the site and working a full-time job but I will give both

my all when it comes time to put in the work.

Thank you for sticking it out with me and helping build something that is so dear to my


In beginning,I wanted Redefined Love to be a site that allowed others to read and feel at

peace knowing that you are not alone in whatever you went through or whatever you

maybe going through.

I still feel that but I would like to make it feel like we are also growing and making

changes happen in life.

For so long my life has been at a stand still and it’s picking up now. As it picks up and

move forward I will be showing some of my life because I can’t really show it all.

Come along with me on my new Journey 🙂



Take A Break!!!!

Hello Everyone,

I’ve been a little M.I.A lately that’s because I’m a working girl now. Remember a few months back when I was talking about “The Joy’s of Job Searching” Yeah me too. 🙂

So let’s have a little catch-up, should we?

In the months leading up to my conclusion of my job hunt. An important person that I was close to passed away. So I needed a break to focus on my grieving.  So I took a break from searching to have a few days to process the loss in my family.

Within that few days the job that I was seeking open up. I didn’t know what to think. I just thought back to a few months ago when I wrote a blog post about “When You Stop Worrying Things Change.” In my case, it took the loss of my loved one to get me to sit back wait.

I believe in faith and I believe there is something higher than we all can see. I was stressed about finding the perfect job when my perfect job found me.  I had no idea life works like that but it really does.

It was a blessing within a loss that gave me the courage to keep fighting in the end.  What I didn’t know was that this job opening was going to help me cope. It kept me on go so I didn’t have time to think about my loss.

Every single day was something I needed to do to get ready for this job. I was running from the time it opened to the time I finally picked up my work ID. It kept my mind in line. It didn’t stop from thinking about my loss. It helped me not go into a depression that would lead to me sorrowing in my grief.

Now that I’ve told you what I’ve been up to.

Let’s fast Forward to February 2, 2018, My first day of work. I love what I do and I’m thankful for what I’ve been through. I would love to have my loved one back and share the happy news about getting this job. For some reason, I believe she knows about it already.

Here are my thoughts you don’t have to be a believer to see that some blessings come with heart-wrenching losses. Sometimes those losses can teach you just how strong you are. My loved one is gone but I know for a fact she would be proud.

So until next time friend, Take a break and reflect on life’s true blessings,



Happy New Year!

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We are now in 2018, here’s to being successful the best way we know how.

Let Celebrate what we left and what we gained.

I’m thankful that we got through another year and thankful that even though it was tough we can say we made it.

I say 2018 I’m ready for whatever you have in store.

Happy New Year,




Hi Everybody,

I wanted to talk about something that I’ve experienced as a child.  Bullying!

Yes, I know we are seeing a lot of this in the news. So, I want to shed some light on the situation.

So here is my perspective on bullying:

When I say being bullied should never be a part of children’s life. I mean it. Experiencing bullying first hand has presented an understanding that life is not always peaches and cream.

Children who bully others may have been bullied themselves.  So the only way they know how to exist is to do what has been done to them.

I’m not saying it right but try to see it from both stand points. 

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I would never say that what I have witnessed in the news lately is right. I have watch children’s parents cry because bullying has taken something so precious away.

I will say this, I don’t like the fact that it takes a child to lose their life for the world to wake up and see that bullying is real.

I will say we all need to pay attention to the signs that a child is in distress. Meaning parents, teachers, counselors Etc.

We all need to do our part in helping these children.

There will always be signs something is wrong. Whether the child is not performing to best of their ability, always wanting to be alone, crying, not eating, misbehaving. These are all signs. Pay attention!! 

I know when I was younger.  Due to being bullied I never wanted to go to school. So I would act out and not do well on assignments so the school would have to send me to principal office, to make a phone call to my parent. Just so I could get a break from the bully. This person would always find a way to sit next to me and torment me.

There were plenty of times I spoke to the teacher about it. If he/ she didn’t see the person tormenting the child how can he/she discipline that particular student?   He/she can’t. So the abuse kept happening. I deeply was distress to point that I would pretend I was sick just to stay home.

Even when you speaking up for yourself,  the bully would continue to do it on the sly because now they know someone is watching. So every time the teacher would turn their back the bully would throw something, pull something and/or take something that belongs to another student.

This causes fights. As well as loss of confidence in one’s self.

I didn’t gain my confidence back until after I left Middle School.

So From the 6th to 8th grade. I dealt with 3 girls (Different grades and years)who thought it was ok to be mean and ruthless.

I was so tired of these girls that it got to the point that I had no choice but to inform my parent what was going on. It was to the point that they were following me to my after-school program. Throwing food at me at lunchtime. I was going home dirty like I was not able to feed myself properly.   Come on now I was in Middle School if I didn’t know how to feed myself correctly something was wrong.

So my parent started questioning, why are you coming home dirty every single day? This when I would break down and confessed that I was being bullied.

The tears came from me harboring it and just taking the abuse non- stop. Hoping someone would see and get these girls off my back.

It was so bad that one day after school I was jumped by these two sisters because they were angry about me helping the teacher. Like how foolish do you have to be? Now that I think about it they were just super jealous.

As a child, you don’t think like that. You’re just seeing these kids acting mean and snotty to you.  You just don’t understand it.  You try and deal with it.

Here’s how I dealt with it:

My parent could only do so much. She went to the police they could not do anything because they said I didn’t have any physical bruises. So they couldn’t arrest these girls. So that didn’t help.

In the end, I was left with less hope.

So then she went to the school:

At the time schools was doing meetings. Where you have a sit down with the parent(s) of the bully, the bullies, the parent of the victim and the victim. You sit with the dean of the school you have a conversation about what needs to change and the victim then has to explain what they are feeling. To me, it was the worse thing to have to explain my pain to these girls who were the ones who provoked it. Only to have them use my pain against me.

Their parent told my parent kids will be kids and we would be friends after this was all over.

NOT A Chance that was happening. Tuhh

I wanted to be done with them as soon as possible and the quarter could not come to a close fast enough.

Here is my is my advice for the victims:

You are not alone, you can get through this by speaking up and standing tall. Life gets better and you will go on to be an amazing individual. I went on to be a college grad. I met so really amazing people along those course of my life which is not over yet.

You can only get better. This also taught me how to treat others because it’s so much better to treat people with kindness.

Keep being you. If you don’t have anything world you have you. No one can be you but you. Let those kids know you are not breakable. You don’t have to tell them, show them.

I stand with you. You don’t have to go at it alone.

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Life comes with Loss

As I type this I’m dealing with the loss of my Aunt. If you know anything about me as a person than you know I love my family with everything in me.  Not only was she my aunt, she was also like a second mother to me.  Everywhere she went I went. When I was little I was so attached to her that I wanted to go to her house every weekend to be with her and my cousins.

The only reason why I’m not falling apart at this present time is that I know that she is at peace with Lord himself.  I know that she is not dealing with the stress of life anymore. She has eternal life with God himself. The only person I feel for is her a six-year-old daughter which is my little cousin.

A loss is never easy to deal with but especially when there is a child involved becomes even harder. I know for a fact my mother and I will help as much as we can.  My aunt had a heart of gold and I will forever be thankful that I had the pleasure of knowing her.

Let talk about dealing with a loss that puts a hole in your heart.

When someone is close to you.  Losing them becomes a reality which we all know is a part of life. With life comes death. I never really understood that until I got older.

We know that someday our loved ones will go to the afterlife and live freely and happily. No worries, no sorrow, just everlasting peace. This is what we wish for them when they leave this place called life.

We hurt for ourselves but we learn how to pick up the pieces and deal with our grief.

I’m at the stage of grief where I cried and now I’m at peace. Knowing she is no longer suffering.

I have a question:

How did you deal with the loss of a loved one? How close where you to that person?


Busy Days Are Sometimes The Most Joyous Days!


As I write this my apartment is getting painted and I’ve been running like a mad woman.

There is nothing more joyous than putting in the work to complete that to-do list that keeps growing a little longer each day.

Now I don’t even bother with feeling the stress of a busy day. I look at it as it’s a productive day.

Some would say, your busiest day is how you know you are moving forward.

For some, this is the busiest time of the year. We are on our merry way to some family time and some much-needed relaxation time.

The holiday season is fast approaching, we gather with our families and friends and spend those happy moments with one another when nothing else matters.

So our days get a little more occupied with the shopping, cooking, wrapping and other sorts of things. While trying to juggle our day to day basic needs.

I cherish the moment when I’ve completed everything on that extremely long list.


One thing I don’t do is beat myself up about not getting everything done on that list. Don’t get me wrong I love to complete everything on it but I know that I only have so many hours in a day.

So here’s a little advice don’t beat yourself up when you haven’t completed everything on that todo list. Save some for the next day. 🙂



I hope your homes are filled with love and nothing but joy.

Love always,



You Can Never Be Too Thankful

As we inch closer to Thanksgiving and as my 26th birthday(November 1st) just past. I feel even more thankful for everything I have. I’m learning the true meaning of being thankful for what you have and what you don’t.

There is nothing more profound than understanding the true meaning of family, happiness, growth, and love.

Let’s talk about family:

My family is my world. We may go through our differences but one thing still remains the same is we will always be FAMILY.

Sometimes that hardest job I have is trying to make sure everyone is ok. I am so focused on making sure no one wants for anything that I forget to think about Cynethia.

This is where your family comes in and reminds me of what’s important.

No family does not have to be blood to bring you back to reality.

Now let’s talk about happiness:

As I inch closer to 30, the only thing that I focus on now is my happiness. If it does not bring me happiness, I move away from it.  I don’t focus on it.

In fact, it doesn’t even catch my attention.  I just don’t see it. This is what keeps my happiness at a balance and understanding that life is too short to focus on things that don’t bring joy and happiness.

How has my growth changed my life?:

My growth has been on top since knowing that I’m changing certain things in my life. Growth and happiness to me go hand and hand. If I’m not happy, how can I grow from the experience?

The growth of understanding that life waits for no one. Is becoming more and more a single statement in my life. It’s a staple of knowing that I am changing for the better. This is also a way of me showing myself how much of an adult I’m becoming.

Who says adult life is not worth trying. No doubt it’s not easy but anything worth having is worth working hard for.

A little hard work doesn’t kill anyone.

Last but not least Love:

Have you ever love something or someone so much that all you ever want to see is it flourish to unprecedented heights. 

I for one love to see people excel to some of the most amazing people they can be. I guess this comes with growth.

I don’t like the idea of not wishing others well.  I love to see people around me be as successful as they see themselves and if I can help in any way. I chose to be right by their side in any shape or form. 

I’ve grown a custom to loving other through their joy, sorrow, and pain. Nothing makes me love life more than putting my best effort forward and helping others through their most trying times.

Love does not have to be a romantic relationship. It can be unbelieve friendship, business (You can love a business) or just plain ole love. 

I want you to write down on a piece of paper or your laptop(whatever method you prefer):,

What your family means to you?

What brings you happiness?

what helps you grow?

How love changed your life?

And then reflect on what your you are thankful for. 


Knowing When to gracefully bow out.

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How do you know when to bow out of something?

I’ll tell you when, 

It’s time to bow out when you feel like it’s not helping you grow or is giving you an understanding of what it has to offer.

The past few days I’ve been pretty busy with trying to figure out what I should keep focusing on and what I should bow out gracefully too. 

It wasn’t until yesterday when I realize that I had to bow out on something that was not giving me a foresight on what could help me grow. It wasn’t an easy decision but it was the best decision I made.

After thinking long and hard about it, as well as getting some motherly advice from my mother, I came to the decision that it was only right to bow out. 

This adult life does not come with a manual on how to navigate the everyday life. But it sure does appear with loads of stress trying to figure it out. They do say when it rains it pours so past few days it’s been pouring down on me. 

So as a young 25-year-old woman, I’m figuring out ways to handle this testing period.  Boy, when I tell you this testing period is putting a strain on me it really is. 

I try to keep my mind in the right space and pray as much as possible. (That’s just my way of dealing with life struggles.) And focus on the bright light that will open my mind to new hills.

Every testing period does bring a new lesson that’s what I keep telling myself and so far its been working. 

Now brings me back to the topic:

If you are anything like me than you will have the most trouble figuring out what to keep focusing on and what to let go without feeling like you are disappointing others.

But in the end, I’ve always disappointed myself the most. So in the conversation, I had with my mother a few days ago.  We talked about how I should always weigh both sides so that one side is not tipping the scale more than the other.

Now, I did ask how to do that because for a minute I didn’t understand what she meant. She explained to me in life we all have to make tuff decisions and sometimes those come with harsh realities. “Now I know what you mean,” I said to her. 

I had a better understanding that the decision I made was for the better who I was destined to be in my future. 

I say all that to say we all need to learn when it best to bow out gracefully. 

I will say I’m at peace with my decision!






Your struggles should be the backdrop to your success: My Story.

Evey struggle that you’ve ever faced should be a lesson. I’ve discovered that your struggles will teach you things about yourself.

Every time you are going through something, you should look at it as a new lesson and a blessing.

Every time you feel like you are ready to give up, take a second and count the many other lessons you’ve learned.

As I get older, I realize that life will only provide struggles you can handle.

Here’s one of my struggles,

Most of my school life I’ve had to strive to get an education. Due to the fact, I have a learning disability. I didn’t learn the material as fast as my peers, so I was labeled.

With a learning disability, you have so many challenges place upon you that the world just doesn’t understand. Besides the people who have one.

You have the added pressure of executing things on time and making sure you work as hard as the other students so you won’t be singled out.

Not to mention kids picking on you when you’re just trying to do the best you can.

I not only faced the bullying, I also had to face a school system that was not designed to help me succeed.

Once I completed middle school,  like any other student in the USA, You go off and start your high school years.

High school is supposed to teach you about hard work and getting you ready for college and your adult life. My high school experience was nothing like that at all.

I would probably say it was the worse thing ever, to be completely honest.

Here’s my story,

When I started high school,  I was excited and ready to do things that I’ve seen my friends do. Like travel to school by myself, meet new people, get to learn new material, all this great stuff that comes with attending high school.

I went into a class that was the perfect size for me. Not too big, not too small.  It was a class for kids with a learning disability. So the children were just like me.  I don’t remember what they called it but I was excelling in that class because of how small it was. Not too many distractions just enough children to get you help if needed it.

It was going so well my first year, I finished my freshman year with all A’s.

Here comes the struggle,

When I entered to my sophomore year, NYC Lawmakers decides that they needed to change the policy for students with learning disabilities and proceed to put them in a class with 30 or more students.

which  I think it was called a general education class with teacher support.

Yeah, my education went downhill from there.

I was struggling to keep my grades up. Let’s be honest I wasn’t learning anything at all. There were so many distractions and the teachers could not help me because they were dealing with over 30 or more students.

Talk about a dilemma.

My mother started to see that I was not performing as well as. This when she began to investigate. Thank God for mom’s who know their children.

I went from A’s to summer school and repeating the same grade twice. Yeah, talk about bad. It was bad.

Talk about a bad high school experience. I would have been ok with being embarrassed by others knowing my high school crush.

Never thought I would have to be in a situation that would be detrimental to my future.

This caused me graduate late and I ended up in homeschool after my mother took me out the high school that was not suitable for me anymore. Which is a whole another story because they tried to take me away from my mother. They refuse to give my mother a transfer so she could put me somewhere else that could benefit me in the long run.

The positive:

I ended up in best thing that could have ever happen to me which was homeschool. The Blessing. The one on one attention had me focus. I finished and went on to college an excelled in that as well.

Talk about a struggle of life.

Here’s what I learned,

Just think, if I would have given up and told my mother to stop fighting because I was in deep depression and couldn’t find my footing and kept slipping on the ice that was in front of me.

I was in a dark hole with no light, no hand, a little bit of faith.

I fought my faith after realizing that there was calling on my life and listening to Cece Winans song called Waging War. I didn’t know at the time that calling was for me to help others. Now that I look back at my early years, I realize I was always helping someone.

This is what I’m  supposed to do. I learned that my struggle taught me how to be positive in the midst of adversity.

This is why I try to see the positive in any situation because I just don’t think anything can get me in a serious depression as I once was.

I was at my worse and  I could not see the light. I was hoping for the light but there wasn’t any.

Learning that you can put your best effort into anything and still fall a little short until its time for you to shine.

The lesson I was supposed to learn was that if you have faith anything is possible.

Before high school I was not living I was existing and not putting my best foot forward. I can admit that because now I see how far I’ve come.

The message:

Don’t hide from your struggles. Face them because the lessons you will receive will be amazing. I may not like every struggle I face but I know that those struggle will come with a blessing that will have me reaching for any star within my grasp or beyond.

Focus on the positive because it will get you through anything. The negative will only keep you down.




The Joy of Job Searching: My Tips

Searching for a job has been the most tiring process ever. If you are just getting out of college and/or almost finished. But you are ready to start looking for work please have patience because it will not be an easy task.

When I was in School  I did go to the job fair, I attended the career center meetings.  Made friends with loads of people in my major department. Friendly to anybody that would talk to me. Became my school’s computer club president.  You name it I did it. All while keeping my grades up. Talk about trying to make sure my resume look good.

Still no Luck!


let’s be honest, I did do some networking but it wasn’t enough. I could have done more.

This is something I wish I knew before completing my college education. 

Here how you should network:

  • Interact with people in your department. (Don’t be afraid say hi, good morning, this will help you in the end.)
  • Get to know your career center very well.(Something I wish knew instead of just going for meetings and fairs.)
  • Ask your friends and family if they have any recommendations (Something I started so late. Don’t be like me start early.) 
  • Apply for an internship while you’re still in school. (Man, did I make a big mistake by not applying for all the internships that were on my department’s counter.)  I probably would be working right now had I done that.
  • Here is why I say that internships sometimes turn into permanent positions. Plus it can count as experience. You will see why I say that as you read on.
  • Speak to your department’s chairperson. (I spoke, I just never ask questions or see if she could help me with life after college.)
  • Get involved with other clubs not just your department’s. The bright side is it could lead to other offers. 

One of the hardest things I’m finding searching for a job is the experience you need to get the job. Everything needs to be a certain number of certifications and years of experience.

Something that has me curious is:

Drum roll, please…………

Why is it that jobs are no longer training you anymore?  Don’t you need to be taught how things work in a new environment and not just know everything right off the back?

Another Thing:

Give yourself a Pep talk:

You need to encourage yourself because it can become a bit much. Looking continuously every single day. You can feel down.  Especially with the everyday life struggles. And you start to feel like you are losing this battle but you are not.

Here what I say to myself:

  • I have what it takes to keep looking.
  • I’m going to find a job 
  • Have faith in the midst of the struggle.
  • This is just a test.
  • Life will get better.

Have a routine: 

Here’ s why I say this. You can search so much that you become so stressed. Know when it’s time to stop.

I was waking up like I had an actual job and making it feel like a chore. So I was so stressed out. To the point, I needed a break. And you know what I did  I took the break. The best decision I made for myself.

Here’s my old routine:

  • Wake up between hours of 6-7 AM.
  • Thanking  God for giving me another day. (Just my personal preference.)
  • Go make my breakfast/ start the computer up so it will be ready after I eat.
  • While eating breakfast, phone in hand, I’d  check emails to see if I have any offers for interviews.
  • Finish eating.
  • Wash my dishes.
  • Grab my chair/ type my password into my computer.
  • Proceeds with my search.
  • Around 11 or 12, I’d take my lunch break.
  • Around 1, I return to my computer and finish searching.
  • You get the point until about 4pm  when I’ve had enough of placing resume on site that would be suitable for my career.

Can you say dedicated? 🙂

I was so invested in finding a job that by the time 4 PM came around I was over it and wanted to be done with it.

Don’t do this to yourself, I repeat don’t do it to yourself.

Set boundaries.

Know when you’ve had enough.

When I Realized that everything is going to be alright:

There is nothing crazier to me rather than trying to find a job in something you’ve done your whole life and still don’t have enough experience to actually get the job.

*Rolls eyes completely.*

The Struggle is real.

There is something to be said about having patience and focusing on the goal of working. You need a strong support system to get you through this tiring process. Because your emotions will be through the roof. You’ll feel like you went to school for nothing and feel like you need to go back because that’s what everyone is telling you.

Wait, There’s always catch,

If you are like me and you don’t have the money. Plus, you don’t want to take out a loan Because of your fear of being in debt.

Yeah, I feel your pain.

Who said I wanted to be in debt my whole life. No one mentions getting an education and then having to go back and get more knowledge and spending more money which does not guarantee you a job.

All it means is you took the step for you to have a better shot at getting your feet a little closer to meeting the target of what is required of you.

*confused look.*

Another question:

How can you get the experience if you are always in class? Here are things our present and past college/university students would like answers to.

Here are things our past and present college students would like answers to.

In conclusion

If I would have known it would have taken this long  I would have started searching while I was still in school. Don’t get me wrong, I love the idea of working hard to find something that suits you. But jeez-Louise I have been out of school for months now.  Graduated in June 2017 but have been done since December 2016.  It has been almost a year of no luck.


After all these questions, I realize that everything is going to be alright because I have faith that something will come through for me.

So the joy of searching will continue.


STOP Searching For Confirmation From Others.

First, let me start by saying you don’t need me to tell you that you are doing just fine. This thing called life can leave you feeling like you need confirmation from the people around you. I’m going to let you in on a little secret, you don’t. 🙂

So let us kill that myth right now. You only need you drive and determination to make it all come to fruition. Just keep doing amazing friend.

You don’t need no one to confirm anything you do. Learn to stand on your own and you will do amazing things. I’m not saying you’re not going to need anyone in your life. You just don’t need confirmation for everything you do.

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There is such thing as needing people too much. And as a person who learned the hard way. People do get tired of you asking them for favors and always asking them what they think. If they are busy trying to figure out their own solutions, you are adding more pressure that doesn’t need to be there.

Allow yourself the Chance to figure out what works for your path. Because your path is different than everyone around you. Your journey is not your mother’s, Father’s, or friends it’s your own. No one can confirm what feels right to you. But you.

Stop worrying yourself to death over what is not working and start finding solutions. There is always a solution to a problem that may seem so big. You just need to find it.

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Confirm your own success. We as the human race feel like we need confirmation because that’s what society wants us to think. I’ve never been one for societies confirmation. I’ve always confirmed my own success. I don’t like the idea of having someone confirm something I already knew was right for me. You can have an opinion great, but you won’t change my mind on what I already know is part of my path.

Yes, it took me some time to get to a point where no one opinions mattered because with anything in life you have to learn how perfected the ability to stand against the naysayers and the people who think they know everything. Humph…………

When in reality they are learning just like you. No one person knows everything. So don’t feel bad if you haven’t mastered the art of ignoring people, who life is no different than yours but have a full opinion about yours. Just laugh and keep it moving you don’t need their confirmation.

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Because you can confirm it for yourself. Look in the mirror and say, I will be successful because I know that is apart of my path. Trust and believe those naysayers will look at you like you got it all together. Then that’s when the rumors will start. But that’s another topic. 🙂

I’ll leave you with this, Learn to be your own confirmation. At the end of the day when everyone leaves you will still have you. Confirm what you know is on your path. I’m am sure you’ve had some signs, dreams, hints. You get the point. You just need to find YOUR Solution. 🙂


Open Your Ears & Close Your Mouth


For the longest time, I thought I knew everything. Not realizing that I really knew nothing. Anytime somebody would ask me something I would have an answer. Whenever my mother would reprimand me I would talk back until I felt like I had gotten the last word. Now, don’t judge me for talking back that was just my way of showing I knew it all. 

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Now that I’m older and understand its better to open your ears and close your mouth. I realize that its power in knowledge and understanding. When I say power in knowledge and understanding, I mean you have to learn something before you can understand it. If you don’t agree with me, tell me the last time you went to a new job knowing everything and being successful.

I bet you weren’t, somebody needed to teach you how things worked in that new environment.  You had to open your ears and close your mouth so you could learn how to work this new job to the best of your ability. Now I bet you are saying, psst you know nothing of what you are saying. Well, I do. I had to learn this the hard way. 

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There is something to be said about listening and not talking when the class is in session. For so long I had this walk through life attitude thinking I knew how my life would go because I have a type A personality. I want it to be this way or it’s no way at all. If wasn’t happening the way I like it I felt that it shouldn’t be done. Kinda messed up thinking, right.  Yeah, it is. Until I finished school and started to see that life does not give you instructions on what you should do next. Let me tell you, I was so wrong about thinking I knew everything. I really knew nothing about how life really works. Until I open my ears and closed my mouth.

This thing called life will humble you to the point of no return. It will take things from you and it will never give you things you want. It will only give you the things you need. Furthermore, life was design to show you that it has ample opportunities but not every opportunity is yours for the taken.

This thing called life can put you in a funk and leave you there for days.  With no sight of light until it feels like you’ve humbled yourself enough to take the next step. Let me enlighting you friend when I say humble yourself to this class called Life because it has some storms you don’t want to see. It will teach you something before it allows you keep moving on the destructive path your on. 

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 There is no teacher here to tell you the rules you need to follow. I will say there is a lesson that you will learn though. Before you leave this earth you’ll have many lessons in a class called life 101. If you don’t get the first lesson don’t worry there will be thousands more where the first one came from.

Some will leave you questioning why these lessons keep knocking you down. Here a little help maybe your just not listening to what this lesson is trying to tell you. Maybe you should try a different approach to solving this problem that only keeps repeating itself. Maybe open your ears and close your mouth. 

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It also a beautiful thing when you have people who’ve had similar struggles as you to give pointers. It’s also easy to write them off thinking they know nothing. This is where you need to humble yourself because there are people in this world who are not trying to dictate to you but trying to help you. Sometimes those people can be older than you and younger than you. Those same people you are writing off can help you see the light at the end of the tunnel. In the end, it can bring you peace just by opening your ears and closing your mouth. 

Try it the next time someone is giving you advice on something. Open your ears and close your mouth. Then ask yourself how can I apply that to my everyday life. I now understand the term it’s better to listen than talk all the damn time. As my mother would say, it’s better to be seen and not heard.  

Trust me, I love to talk but I love to listen more. 🙂




Follow Your Heart!!!

Do you know what your heart is saying? Do you know what your heart wants? Do you have an idea of how your heart feels or are you just blocking out the sound of your heart altogether? Learning to listen to that organ in your body can be a little scary because of so many times before it’s let you down. I will say I know how you feel because mine has let me down as well but I can count on one hand those times. I will say my heart has also had some successful moments.

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Sometimes I wonder how can one thing be right and wrong at the same time. Here’s my answer, your heart has a way of testing its boundaries. This organ sometimes gives you your wants, your needs, your hope and your dreams. It even gives you your faith.  Pay attention because it can also give you your fears as well. Have you ever just sat down and listen to what that organ had to say. How it says it to you by beating fast when you get next to someone that you have a crush on. How it makes you break out in cold sweat from being nervous.  Pay attention to the little things.  

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This one organ can put you through so many emotions. It can be your inspiration and it can be your miserable truth all in one. I learned a long time ago that faith and the heart go hand and hand. When you have faith and trust your instincts you will see that your heart can clear your mind. One of the reasons I love the organ we call a heart is that when I’m confused and need a little guidance to choose what’s right. I focus on how I’m feeling on the inside. If my anxiety is going haywire I know I should do it. If I’m too calm about something then I know it’s time to leave it alone or let it go.  This is how I decide if its the right thing for me. I have done this for the last few years. It works so well. 

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Your heart may work a little different than mine. One thing I do know is, if you pay attention to what it says,  you can figure out how your heart works best for you. Pay attention to the feeling you get when you about take a big plug. Look at the different signs that say give it a try or the signs that say leave it alone. At first, it’s going to be hard to understand those signs but once you get you and your heart on the same page you will feel at ease. I Know I do. The heart is something that some of us take lightly and for granted. So I ask you to give the organ that gives you life a chance to show you that you can make the right decisions by just listening. Remember when your parents would say if you just listen then everything will go the way you want it. So open your ears and close your mouth and you will probably find your answer. 



Dream As Big As You Like!

Dreams are described as thoughts, images, and sensations occurring in a person’s sleep. Now when I ask you what are your dreams you will say? I don’t mean really tell me your dreams because those are sacred. You should keep them to yourself until you’ve launched what you’ve worked hard on. One thing I’ve learned about dreams is you have to keep them to yourself. Never tell anyone what your dreams are, just write them down on paper and hold them close.

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Allow those dreams to manifest in all your tomorrows. Those dreams are meant to be in your every thought. I know you are working so hard to get it off the floor and let it fly. Keeping working on it. Dreams are made to be tested, it something like a hypothesis. Every hypothesis needs to be tested. So test away. Let that mind of yours flow until you can no longer get multiple ideas and dreams. I want you to put those thoughts to paper and find a way to release those plans to the world. Let those thoughts take on a new meaning in your life. I’m not saying forget about the real world struggles because I know we all have bills and things that need to be taking care of.

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I’m saying don’t allow yourself to forget those the things that made you happy. I want you to be happy that why I’m saying dream as much as you like. I’m not saying it will be easy. I want you to revisit those pages that you started to write and finish that story. Finish the story friend. Let that story take you on a journey. It’s something we all will have to do someday. Go back and finish our story and make it our legacy. Your dreams are your legacy to the story that made you who you are or that will complete you.

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My hope for you is that you allow yourself to revisit those pages and read from the pure joy of the history and legacy you started. One more thing, don’t hold back on the struggle embrace it. When you hold back on the struggle it kinda means you are running away from it. Let that struggle take you to new heights. When you allow that struggle to manifest and hopefully you will be able to create the plan that has been in your mind to conquer your vision. I know you don’t want to be apart of someone else dream forever but we need to learn from our experiences. Those experiences will teach you how to get those dreams off the ground. Have faith!

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You Are More Than Enough!

Today I woke up feeling like I wanted to encourage you and let you know that you are more than enough. When you feel like you are failing. Keep moving forward. When you feel like life got a hold on you. Know that’s just your mind telling you that it’s no more moves to make. That’s a lie there is still more moves to make you just need to think outside the box. Don’t ever let your mind overshadow what you work so hard to conquer. You are more than what the people around you say you are. You are enough.

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You have what it takes to get that job. You have what it takes to be the mother that you always wanted to be. You are going to get through school. You are going to get that first house. You just have to stay focus. Stop giving up and keep fighting. Give yourself the chance to be best you can be. Give it your best shot and you will succeed. You have nothing to lose so keep fighting. I encourage you to keep moving on the path that made you happy when you first started it. Find that joy again. Look how far you’ve got and look how far you will go. The only thing standing in your way is you. Let your voice be heard. Stand at the top of highest mountain scream you got this because I know you do.

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No one is going to hold you back and if they do slap their hands away and tell them to move. Don’t allow someone to stand in your face and tell you nothing you do is possible. You have every right to try what your heart and soul tells you to try. I have the confidence in you that you will make it through this struggle. I hate calling it a struggle but I know that each struggle you face is a test to show you how resilient you are. Be the person you are supposed to be.

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I’ve had plenty of people in my life doubting me. Not sure how or if I ever would have made it as far as I did. I tell you what I never stop believing in me because I knew I would make it and I’m still making it. I will continue to make it because I know I have so much more to do in this world. Just like you will continue to make it because you know your work is not done. You work will be done when you feel like you accomplish everything you set and even then you won’t feel like you made it because you will see that there is room for improvement. I want you to say to yourself “I wouldn’t have made it this far without a fight and hope”.

When you feel like you don’t have hope, focus on these steps:

  • Hold your head up high.
  • Keep the faith(doesn’t mean spiritual just find the faith in you!)
  • Keep fighting
  • Don’t allow your mind to overshadow your heart.
  • Focus and execute

These are the steps you need to maintain in your mind. When you feel like you can’t move forward think of how far you’ve gotten and keep moving forward. I want you to see how awesome you are. Look in the mirror and give yourself a pep talk because honey you are on your way to amazing things. You have an amazing future line up for you and is waiting to see what you got. So what do you have friend, don’t tell me, show me 🙂

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Never allow anyone to step on your Dreams.

There will always be that one person who will step on your dreams. I’ve come to realize that no one is going to help you accomplish your dreams or be happy for your dreams. Not even the people that are supposed to help you feel like anything is possible. Here’s why I say that. I went to see a counselor who is supposed to encourage you to find ways to live out your dreams. I left this person’s office feeling more fragile and a lot more stressed out. I’ve been out of school for a few months now (finished June/2017) and every time you try to find a job that is for you they tell you will need xo amount of experience. So for a person coming right out of college and never had a job in their life. Those words can be little stressful to see on paper. It kinda discourages you in looking for employment. I won’t give up no matter what though. This job searching is not for the faint at heart because you will be tested. There will be days that you feel like there are so many roadblocks in front of you that you don’t know where to turn. There is definitely light at the end of this tunnel. I can feel it. You did the hard part that what I keep telling myself and this is just a test to see if you are meant to be on this path. Words I say to myself when I wake up at 6am to start the process of searching for a job all over again.

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Every person I have come in contact with have told me to keep the faith and keep looking so that ‘s what I will do. I’ve read multiple articles about finding employment and becoming your own boss. One of the reasons I started this site is to give people with similar struggles like myself a platform to express the stress of living in the everyday world. There is nothing more stressful than spending money to get an education and then being told you don’t have enough to get your foot in the door. Trust me I am there with you. You name it I’ve applied for it. There is light at the end of this tunnel I keep telling myself. I’ll keep looking because I know there is something out there meant for me and you. I want to encourage you to keep fighting in whatever is that you are going through because I refuse to let this job hunting get me down. I know that there is something lurking in the bushes for me and when I find it. I know I will give it my all and I feel the same for you. You will give everything you have and I believe you will be the best at it.

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When you find what you are looking for I know you will give it everything you got. I have faith that something will lead you to where you need to be. This is just a test of your strength right now. A day or so ago I was talking about how life will test you. This is life just testing us to see if we are ready for the big blessing. I plan to keep on fighting until that big blessing is in arms reach. I will continue to fight for what matters. You don’t have to be spiritual but I Invite you to find something you have hope and faith in to keep yourself encouraged. We live in times where there are fewer inspirations and less determination because it seems like we are not moving. I have faith in you that you will overcome this test. Allow yourself the chance. I beg of you. If you have to shed tears do so and if you have to praise in the hallway do that. If you have to write down what you feel on the inside do it but don’t give up. If you need a hug get it and keep fighting. Never stop believing in you because if you don’t believe you no one else will.

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I want you to be stress-free. Stress is known to cause heart attacks and when it becomes too much you can lose hope in what you saw as your happy ending. You are supposed to be happy with your choices. I remember watching a YouTuber who said that your choices are supposed to make your life better. I refuse to allow someone to step on the things that make me happy. So I choose to focus on the things that have been placed in front me that makes me happy and I hope you do the same. Never allow yourself to be put into a place that feels like you have no choice but to let it go. Keep fighting for your dreams.

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Sunshine, How I love You!

Have you ever felt like the sunshine lights up your life? Sunshine is something I look forward to. When the sun is shining I find peace in Gods nature. Every time the sun is shining I find that’s when I’m the happiest. Nothing compares to a how beautiful the clouds look as the sun shines brightly over every person that walks with a purpose. I love to wake up with the sun shining so brightly through my window. Especially in the summer months, it helps you get your day started because the birds are singing the song of nature.

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Nature is Gods way of showing you that beauty comes in all forms. So when you feel less than beautiful you can just think about nature how it has all forms beauty. I get excited when I see different forms of beauty. If you need a little inspiration to feel the beautiful take a look at nature everything in nature has some form of beauty. Every day someone is hoping for the sun to shine. That someone is me. I’m very thankful that nature can bring me such delight with its beauty. I’m very thankful that God gave me something to love and that is nature. I fell in love with nature when I found out that my love of water was not something weird. Screen Shot 2017-10-02 at 7.05.53 PM

Water is a way to relax. Have you felt a sense of peace when you are next to water? Have ever watched the water and sunshine become as one? I have and let me tell you it’s the most beautiful thing you will ever see. The sun meets the water and they merge for a hot second and then the sun says goodnight to the world. Yes, it’s called a sunset. To me, it’s so beautiful to sit on a beach and watch God nature come together to show the world still has its beauty. Find the beauty in everyday and you will see how amazing your life will be. Life simple beauty comes to show you that you don’t need to be perfect to be beautiful. All you have to do is enjoy the simple things and your life will be as amazing as the sun that shines through your window every day. Life has its ups and downs but there is always beauty in every day.

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Choose You!

Let me start by saying it is not selfish to put yourself first. My mother always told me to never stretch yourself so thin that you have nothing left to give to you. Have you ever felt like you just need to be there whenever someone calls you? I felt like that for most of my life. I felt if I said no to anyone that I wasn’t honoring the respect that my parents taught me. So I would say yes to things I didn’t want to do and was always available whenever anyone would call. Today I only say yes when I feel up to helping and it’s not all the time.

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I had to learn that it was ok to say no sometimes. I learned nothing was going to happen if I said no. The worst thing that could have happened was the person would have to find another alternative. Which they would have done if you weren’t around anyway. I started to understand that it was ok to take a break from doing things for others to do things for me. Let’s face it, those people who you do things for will put themselves first if push comes to shove. Nobody is going to take care of you like you can. So always take care of you first because if you are not well you can’t help others. Your mental health should be your first priority. Also, don’t allow other to dim your light because you’ve always been there if they are true to who they say they are. They will understand that you need a break.

Here are some signs that you are stretching yourself thin:

  • Whenever you look at your phone and you dread answering it.
  • When you feel like it’s a job to keep up with all yeses.
  • When you know in your heart you don’t want to do something but you do it anyway.
  • Not saying No when you know you’re not up to helping others.

These are the signs that you should look for. It’s also a way of knowing that it’s time to focus yourself. Learn to see the signs before you get to the fourth one. By the time I got to the fourth one I was so over it. I couldn’t figure out why I was in the worst mood because I allowed myself to say yes to any and everything. I didn’t know how to fix the problem I had caused myself. Yes, it was a big problem. Anytime somebody would ask me to help my first words was sure I’ll help. When I really wanted to say No, I can’t help you because I’m really tired and should catch up the sleep that I have been missing or I’m sick and I should be nursing myself back to health. No, I had to be there for everything anyone needed so they didn’t feel like I was letting my parents down.

Take care of you because no one else.PNG

Until one day my mother told me I was not letting her down. I was actually disappointing her because I was not taking care of me. I was allowing myself to be put into a space that was not healthy. I was growing to be the yes woman that my mother did not raise me to be. So I did some research on how to deal with the fear and be at peace with the idea of disappointing others. You can not please everyone I kept telling myself while trying to make yourself happy. I would say it worked. I’m no longer feeling the need to please everyone.

Heres my personal advice for you. Tell people the truth. It will save you from overexerting yourself to the point of feeling like it’s a chore to help others. When helping others should be fun and at your own will. Not because you feel like you are not honoring the values your family taught you. There are plenty of ways to help others while enjoying your peace of my mind. I will say the best thing I could have done for myself is to make sure to put me first. Some people will understand and other won’t but it’s not your place to help them understand why you need to take care of you. Also, stop explaining yourself. No one is your boss but you.

No one is your boss.PNG


Nothing Happens Over Night.

Have you ever wondered why it was taken so long for something to happen? Or should I say something that you really wanted to happen? I tell you why it has not happened, timing. When I say timing do you remember your parents telling you that timing is everything.  In the right time, things will happen in your favor. I will say you can’t be closed minded because you will block that favor. In life, things don’t happen when we want them to happen. They happen when they are supposed to happen. 

You can overcome this test.PNG

There are some things that you need to prepare for before they can fully be yours. My parents and family members use to tell me that I would get everything that was for me when the time was right. I never understood that because I was so young and naive that I wanted everything right then and there. Life does not work on your schedule they use to say. Let me tell you how life works. There will be challenges that you will face before your blessing will be placed in front of you. Life tested me so much that I was not sure how to handle some situations but I will say that I never gave up. However big the test was I kept fighting because I knew that it was only a test and it would soon be over. Here’s what  I had to tell myself every time I was tested. This is just a battle you will see the light at the end of the tunnel.  You will overcome this obstacle. You will see the sunshine again. Truth be told the sun did come out again and I went on to be a better person because of that test and every test after.  Every test helped me understand that I had learned new knowledge and it was something I could now use to my advantage. No matter how big or small the blessing is you will be tested. Life needs to see how you will react before it gives you everything you’ve been hoping for. They do say nothing worth having comes easy.

You can do it!!!.PNG

Especially if it’s something that will impact others. Such as being an influencer, teacher, doctor, a lawyer. These professions change people’s lives every single day. So they are tested in more ways than one. If you ever felt like you are going through something you can’t shake just know that it’s only a test. You will pass this test in no time just keep fighting. I can guarantee that you will get through this. Before you know it that big blessing will happen. Life is just testing you to see if you ready or if you need a little more time to get prepared. After each test, you could guide somebody else in similar situations. Trust that this is one obstacle that will lead you to the bigger picture. I believe you can get through because I thought I couldn’t get through one of my worst tests but I’m still here. So I know you can. Keep fighting friend!!!!!!


Who Are You When You’re By Yourself?

 Have you felt like you are always around other people so much that you don’t know what it’s like to be alone?  Or you always need to have someone with you everywhere you go. I use to feel like I needed to have someone with me everywhere I went. Then I realize that its power in being alone. When I say it’s power in being alone I mean you get to take a moment to be with just you.  Now let me ask you for those of you who don’t like being alone, why don’t you want to be by yourself? Just think if you ask a mother who has had multiple children what would she like the most? she would probably say alone time.

It’s power in having alone time!.PNG

To me, that means it’s power in being alone. There is nothing wrong with doing things by yourself. We never like the concept of being alone because of the fear of being judged by our peers. We’ve watched plenty of movies where there is a woman who is eating alone and then some of her old classmates are randomly walking by and see that she’s eating alone. she’s so embarrassed that she makes up a whole story about why she eating alone. Let me tell you something people are way too busy to be questioning why you eating alone. Unless you live in a small town in the country even then nobody from your past will be checking for you.  There are way too many people in this world for you to be randomly picked out of the group to be judged for having alone time. 

You have to build the relationship of self..PNG

Alone time is like any relationship. You need to work at keeping that relationship healthy. Let me break it to you, you should be working on the relationship of self. If you can’t be alone what can you offer anyone else? Whether it’s a love, friendship, or business relationship you need to work on you before you can bring anything to the table.  I like the idea of my alone time so much that when I do hang out with others I have so much more fun, I’m energized, playful, I joke a lot but that because I’ve had my alone time.

You are not lonely if you choose to.PNG

Alone time does not mean you are lonely that’s a misconception. It just means you don’t need to be around folks 24/7.  As a Scorpio, I tend to become one of those people who enjoys just breaking away from others for a few days.  I value that time because it gives me a chance to regroup and focus on me. It’s not that I’m lonely I just don’t always want to be around others all the time. I call it working on me.  It’s a form of me getting to know myself a little better before I can fully commit to giving myself to any relationship.  I need to be ok with me. That goes for everybody, you need to be ok with just you.  

How do you spend alone time.PNG



What Can Your Fear Tell You?

Have you ever felt fearful of something? Have you ever allowed your fear to keep you from doing something? I always use to allow my fear of what others might think of me to overshadow what I felt on the inside. Others opinions on me would make me change my mind about something I felt so strongly about that it would cause me to feel like my own thinking process was not acceptable. So I started to question my ability to make logical decisions and more.

Don’t ever be afraid of just being you.PNG

When I started to see a pattern of the fear of others opinions. I had to take a second to reevaluate the situation I had gotten myself in. As I was starting to see that not everyone was built to be the same. I started to embrace the fact that I was different. People’s opinion no longer matters and I started to neglect the fear I had picked up. Fear is considered to be something that happens when you can’t figure out what would work best for you. I call it the fear of uncertainty because you don’t want to offend anyone by being yourself but also want them to like you for you. I was caught between those two choices.  When I figured out I was at my best by being me and it was just my fear of not being accepted. I stop allowing people to dictate my choices and make the proper decisions for myself.

Here’s  what I want you to do when you feel like your fear is consuming you:

  • Stop allowing your fear to keep you from doing what your heart knows is right for you.
  • Stop allowing others get into your head and tell you can’t-do something because they are afraid that you might be more successful at it. If you feel like those people are holding you back keep your distances and allow yourself the chance to try what you feel so strongly about.
  • Never give someone the satisfaction of knowing they have a say in what you do especially when it’s to better your future.
  • Allow yourself the chance to be a better you by trying something different.
  • Focusing on being the best you possible.

In this world, people try to throw negative stones at you because they are afraid of you leaving them behind. They want you and them to be on the same page for as long as they think it benefits them. To them, you are never supposed to grow. Especially if they feel like you have more to gain then they do. In some ways, it’s their fear of being overshadowed. Never allow someone to make you feel guilty or fearful of making a choice they could have made themselves. Everyone has the same 24 hours how they live that 24 hours it’s their business.  You should never have to feel like you have to give up on your hopes and dreams to fit in. Start your own crowd.

Don’t take on someone else failures.PNG

Another thing, never allow other people to project their failures on you.  The worst thing you can do is allow someone throw their failures at you. You are allowed to make your own mistakes. No one can tell you how to live out your destiny. Everyone’s destiny is different. Your path is made for you not the people around you.  So when your fear takes over you are distancing yourself from that destiny. Fear is just your way of saying I’m ready. What are you ready for?

Allow yourself the chance to try!.PNG


I Want You To Dream!!!!

Remember when you were little and you would play dress up or you would pretend to be some superhero that would come on your favorite TV shows? I want you to go back to that point in time and dream like you never dreamed before. I want you to feel as comfortable as you did when that dream took place. I don’t expect you to have the same goals but I do expect you to tap into that past aspiration. As we get older we forget to dream and continue to run away from those dreams because we feel like they have nothing to do with our reality. I’m here to tell you that those dreams have a lot to do with our reality.

Keep Dreaming Evening When You Don’t Want To.PNG

Let me inform you that your dreams are what got you this far. When your parents dreamed about what they wanted to do in their future you were part of that future plan. This is why you exist. Let me ask you another question do you feel like your dreams are unrealistic. Well, let me tell you if it has something to do with your future plans then those dreams are not unrealistic. Do you think Steve Jobs saw how big Apple would be? Do you think Bill Gates would have thought he would have been sitting a the top of the Forbes list for as many years? No, these people had a dream and they worked so hard to accomplish them every single day. I want you to do the same. I don’t want you to stop putting one foot in front of the other until you feel like you have nothing to lose because you gained everything from dreaming. I like to see others win because when they win I look at it like you made it and now you showing someone else who may be watching that they can do anything if they just keep dreaming.


I promise you someone is watching your every move especially if you have little family members that look up to you. Having little eyes on you can make you feel the sense to keep moving. They don’t have to be your children, They could be cousins, god-children, a family-friend child/ren, even adults pay attention to what you are doing. Just to see if you have a plan and a dream. I don’t want you to stop dreaming because some amazing things happen in our dreams. Have you ever had a dream just come true right in front of your eyes? What did you think? The first thing we utter is “Oh My God I dreamed about this”. I can name a few people who probably had a look into their future because that what our dreams show us. A look into our future.


In my last article, I spoke about a dream I had of words that kept replaying in my head and I couldn’t understand why. I didn’t realize that was my dream telling me to express those words in an article that might be something someone needs to hear or read. So when I wrote those words in my notebook I didn’t realize it would bring me healing to express them to all the people who read that article. I felt a sense of relief when I posted that article because I knew my dream had been fulfilled.

Your dreams show you endless possibilities!.PNG

Your dreams show you endless possibilities of what your life could be like. I know as women we dream constantly and we come up with endless possibilities as to what we want our lives to be like. It’s not pressuring it’s a reassurance that you have something to look forward to. KEEP YOUR DREAMS Alive!! I want you to take a look at how far you have come and then tell me it wasn’t a dream. In the famous words of BIggie Small it was all a dream………….


Nothing can stand in your way!

Have you ever heard of the saying “Nothing can stand in your way but you?” I remember as a kid my mother informing me that no one can stand in my way. Whatever I wanted to do I could do. I’m saying the same to you no one can stand in your way. You can do whatever it is that your heart is set on. You can conquer whatever it is that you feel like is holding you down. you can finish that class, that paper, business plan, you can work all those hours so you can open that first store/shop, you’re going to find that job that’s for you. You can do it!!!!

I am my problem & my solution.PNG

In the world today, there are so many things that can turn your hope into a puff of smoke. I’m here to encourage you not to allow that to happen because you never know what that hope will get you. Stop allowing yourself to get in your own way. You are built for this journey. This journey has your name written in stone. I know that there are people around you who have everything you want but it was just their time. Your time is coming. No one can take your time.

Get out of your own WAY

I use to feel the same way, seeing everyone around me have everything and you start to feel a little jealous of what everyone has because you’re working your ass off. Then I realize when my time comes I will have what’s meant for me and not what meant for everyone else. I stopped worrying about what other’s had and I started paying attention to where I was going. I started to see what I wanted for myself and it wasn’t what other people had. I have a vision and I plan to continue on the path to get it. I recommend you stop telling people your vision because everyone is not going to understand what you see for you.

No can see what you see for yourself

When I started RedefinedLove I didn’t tell anyone about it until it was actually launched. Yes, I know it will take some time to get this site where it needs to be but I plan to work on it as long as it takes. I know this is what I’m supposed to be doing. In my mind and heart, I knew I need to start helping others by taking that first step. This is that first step for me. I have a plan in mind that wrote down on paper to map out what I want to do with this site and how I want to do it. The goal is to make sure I stay on or close to that course. You never know you might change a few lines and it might make the play better. Every businessman/woman I read about had to change a few lines to be successful. So I know if they changed a few things I know I’m going to change a few lines here and there.

Changes will happen but it’s only to make.PNG

My point is you can do just about anything with the passion of taking that first step. You can take that first step!!!! Let me tell you it will be scary and you will feel like your heart is jumping out of your chest but when it’s all said done you will feel a sense of relief. I couldn’t be happier that I took that first step with this site. I’m now standing in my purpose and I never felt better. Also, stop getting your head and shooting down all positive thoughts. Instead, write them down on paper and see what you come up with. We as a human being has always stopped our feet from moving when the water got a little too deep and we felt like we are drowning. Yes, we do that a lot. I encourage you to go a little further in water because what’s at the end will surprise you. I was definitely surprised at the responses I’m getting with this blog so far and couldn’t be more grateful that I took that step.

Take the first step.PNG

Take that step I promise you won’t regret it!!!!! 🙂



We Rise by Uplifting Others

With everything that’s been going on in the media and the world. From earthquakes to hurricanes. We need something to lift us up. Whenever you feel down, I want you to think of the many ways you’ve helped others. Has it been with just spending time, or has it been with giving advice? My favorite is just by being their listening ear so that person can just release the stress. Nothing makes me happier than to help a friend who may not feel comfortable talking to others but feel comfortable talking to me. I love for my friends to feel like they can come to me with anything. I’m just that kinda person. I rather see what I can do, rather do nothing at all.

Be thankful.PNG

One goal I do every day is to find a positive quote, read it and start my day. This how I get my day started and I feel because I read my quote there is nothing that can stand in my way. I learned one positive thought a day can:

  • Change a mood
  • Change an outlook
  • Give you inner peace
  • Give you grace and faith whatever you may believe in.
  • Give you a spiritual guidance and the list goes on.

Whatever it may take to get those positive thoughts going that may help you help others I’m all for it. One thing I dislike is when I come into an establishment and there is a person in a bad mood. Warrant you don’t know what going on the inside but you just know something is just not right. In my heart, I’m a fixer I like to see what I can do but you can’t just walk up to a complete stranger and just ask them what’s the matter? So I do subliminally, I’ll sit next to them and strike up a conversation or sometimes they’ll surprise me and start a conversation with me. So by the time, we leave the establishment everyone is in a better mood. This also how you de-escalate a situation before things go wrong. By them being in a better mood before leaving, that particular person may extend that generosity to someone else. To me, this a form of uplifting others. You’ve help one now they’ll help another. It’s also called spread kindness.

Beautiful things happen when you distance yourself from.PNG

Many times we find that we are afraid of asking for help or helping others because we think they might want something in return. Yes, some do because they feel like oh I gave you this so you have to do this.Those people are not uplifting others. They are just there to use you and it’s better to find that out now and cut them off. Then to find out later when it’s too late. I truly believe there are more people who do it out of the kindness of their heart, rather than to see what they can get in return. The people who do it out of the kindness of their heart will generally walk away and not ask for anything in return even when you offer it. They’ll say no that’s alright or they’ll say thank you and go on about their day. You’ll realize that people with alternate motives will constantly ask you for things. Always come around when they need something. It’s never an equal trade it will always be something they need. Learn the signs so you can get the negative energy out of your life or keep it at bay so it’s not affecting your everyday life. You do need a balance so you can have a clear understanding of what uplifting others look like. I’m just saying don’t let the negative tip the scale. Here is how the negative will tip the scale:

  • Phone calls come few and far between and it’s only to ask for something.
  • The person will only show interest into you when it benefits them.
  • They don’t show support.
  • They don’t like it when you say no.
  • They stop calling when they feel you have nothing to offer.

These things are not uplifting, they are hindering. Stop allowing others to hinder you. I had to learn to stop allowing other people make me feel bad for not want to do something or just simply saying no. Who would have thought saying a small word like no would put so many people in their feelings. This also comes with the price of being the yes woman/man. They do say every action has a reaction which I later figured out to be true. I would much rather put people in their feelings so my life can be a little more positive. Then to be miserable because I keep doing things that I don’t want to. It’s a risk I’m willing to take.

What is the risk you are willing to take to have a more filling life? Are you willing to let a certain crowd go? are you willing to learn to allow yourself to be more positive? What are you willing to do? I challenge you to find a way to uplift the people around you and that includes you. Trust me it feels so good to uplift others as much as it feels good to be uplifted.

Be the reason someone believes in the goodness.PNG